So I know the Galeries Lafayette on Champs-Elysées is a renowned department store on a significant…read moreParis street, but to me, a tourist passing through with gastrointestinal distress, this place was just a large container for a rather upsetting bathroom.
I guess I am grateful this place even had a bathroom, as the Monoprix next door did not. It must get a lot of people who come for the bathroom without shopping at the store, which is why all visitors have to pay for the privilege.
I had to go go go and was pretty stunned to get down to the Galeries Lafayette basement and find a fucking bouncer at the bathroom's entrance, sitting and watching us toilet hopefuls like Saint Peter at the pearly gates. She saw me coming with all of my need and pointed to a ticketing machine. I'd never encountered a ticketed bathroom before and lost valuable seconds in my confusion. I paid the €1.50 as fast as I could (honestly, I would've forked over whatever they asked), then walked through the turnstile, like at a Metro station, heading to the first stall like my train was about to leave.
Have you ever executed a public bathroom visit with no witnesses and felt like you've pulled off the perfect crime? Well, this was like that, but the opposite. I'm pretty sure I made eye contact with both the bouncer and the cleaner who came out of my stall (at least they do keep it clean in there), and probably five other desperate customers coming in and out of this heavily trafficked all-gender bathroom. There was way too much scrutiny for what I had to do, and I doubt I can ever go back again.
I did go to the main Galeries Lafayette an hour later, as I was in Paris during sales week, and it was great, a beautiful department store where I bought discounted Bonpoint and Diptyque like a classy American traveler. I don't think the Champs-Elysées is quite as marvelous, but unfortunately, I'll never know for sure.