Food was actually pretty decent -- no complaints there. But if you choose to sit outside, be prepared to wait... and wait... and wait. Doesn't matter how much you try to get someone's attention, you'll feel like you're dining on another planet. Tried going inside to order after being ignored for ages, only to be snapped at that it's table service only. Bit of a lose-lose situation. The food was delish, but the service left a bad taste in my mouth. Found most staff to be rude and abrupt -- disappointing, because this place could be great if they simply acknowledged customers sitting outside. read more

There is a fine art to running a tourist trap. It takes no skill at all to sell a visiting customer a shoddy product for an excessive price. The skill and delicacy come from getting said customer to enjoy the fleecing. Done with savoir faire, the visitor thinks he or she has had a wonderful experience. He or she is eager to come back on the next visit. Done crassly, the visitor knows this has been a rip off. The tourist leaves resentful and angry. There are three absolutely essential ingredients to a first rate tourist trap. a) Magnificent looking premises. Your room has to be utterly beautiful. People have to be happy just sitting in your room. Passing by the room, every visitor has to want to walk in. b) Magnificent looking food. Never mind how it tastes, the plating has to be worthy of a gastronomy magazine. c) Charming wonderful help who look exactly like what the tourist expects the residents of the place being visited to look like. The help needs to be either physically beautiful or have plenty of local color. All the personnel have to be charismatic and good at interacting with people. * * * Caffe e Torta is the Titian of tourist rip-offs The Grand Master of Beauty - The tourist is separated from his or her cash while living in a cloud of elegant dreams. The establishment is in the Royal Arcade - one of many spectacularly beautiful Victorian-style interior passageways in the Center of Melbourne. There is both a sit down establishment and a free standing macaron kiosk. The macaron kiosk looks like something out of Alice in Wonderland. There is fine Victorian china on the counters. (or imitation Victorian china but it looks fine enough.) The kiosk has beautiful woodwork. The macarons are gorgeous and tempting. You are living in a Pre-Raphaelite dream. Even though Caffe e Torta is an Italian place - it has the look of exactly where you would want to go to have high tea with clotted cream and scones. The demure but winsome lass behind the counter could be the objet d'amour of a Somerset Maugham novel. * * * How are the macarons? Tasteless. What is the price of the macarons? Stiff. Should I have known things were going to be this way? Of course. But the experience still feels like a bit of Melbourne Magic. read more

Very pretty little cafe - very eclectic. Service was efficient and prompt - table service, we were seated and ordered with coffee delivered promptly. The coffee is excellent - I was impressed it was good, nice crema, not overly hot, rich smooth flavour - as perfect a cup of coffee as you can expect. We had a macaroni - it was light, sweet but not too sweet also excellent. If there was a negative was waiting to pay - it too longer than it should - and a smile would have been nice. It is expensive for what is offered but you pay for quality. All the same it was more than good. read more

Caffe E Torta - Coffee + macarone - Cafes Near Me - Melbourne, VIC

I finally figured it out Tourists eat in the alleyways residents don't You walk around confused and a greeter lures you in OK well that decision was made for the group Start with a German waitress that is full of attitude If you ask how big the steak is she responds how would you like it? Too much in a hurry to take a few mins to help navigate the menu Food is ok nothing to get excited about or to complain about as its just a weekly dinner Don't come here to get surprised It's a great menu that is typical of these tourist spots Can I have some bread? You want additional bread? No I would like some bread but you never gave me any bread so it's not additional? Additional bread? Yes please I bet it's a chargeable The bill showed up for our group with no ask about coffee or dessert as she was in a hurry Nice thing is that tipping is not expected but if you do tip the staff will be very very thankful Was a tip left? no we were in a hurry to go spend money elsewhere read more

Caffe E Torta - The red phone is important but the food here is very very good - Cafes Near Me - Melbourne, VIC

Was in a rush to get a sandwich. Service was quick and the baguette was hand made with precision. But for $12.80 I would hope I ate a good baguette. It was one of the best made baguettes I've eaten but was a bit too expensive. The flavour of the smoked ham mixed with fresh cheddar cheese, tomato and lettuce with some Mayo, seeded mustard and butter all in a little bit hard baguette roll The taste and flavour was 9/10 but value was 4/10 read more

Caffe E Torta - Smoked ham baguette - Cafes Near Me - Melbourne, VIC

This is a perfectly sweet little cafe serving up quality cafe food like sandwiches, grilled sandwiches, soup, salads and pastas, which vary depending on the day - T: chicken penne W: mushroom and pumpkin farfalle Th: spag bol F: bacon and mushroom pasta in napoli sauce They're open for breakfast and lunch everyday, and they stay open for dinner on Friday evenings too. If you don't have time to stop for food, bear in mind that they also make a damn fine coffee. Having said that, it's a lovely cafe for a sit down and a spot of lunch and a coffee to finish, so try and make the time to enjoy the space. read more

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I hear that Caffe E Torta serves things other than breakfast, but in visiting for the last year and a half, I've yet to actually experience this. It seems insane to me, I mean, why would you have Non Breakfast at a spot that has absolutely spectacular "Eggs Italiano" and a proper sized cappuccino, perfectly frothed and sprinkled with cocoa? It's just nutty to me that you'd have LUNCH or DINNER at a superb location in the heart of the city of Melbourne when you could be enjoying their Torta Special (which is a bit like an uitsmijter if you've ever had brekkie in The Netherlands) or even the fresh Muesli with yoghurt and fruit... It comes down to this: It's Sunday, you are hungry, you want quality food at reasonable (well, Melbourne CBD) prices - you have this as an option. Just Eat It. Now, don't get me wrong, there is room for improvement...namely, they CRAM people together, especially inside, so, if you don't want your table-neighbours to hear about your polyp removal, or exactly the sound your partner made when you recharged the D-cells, you're probably better off sticking to the ever changing Melbourne weather as a topic. read more

Tasty little cafe located inside one of the many arcades in the downtown Melbourne area. Sort of Italian and maybe a little French. They do a real good flat white coffee here.I had the poached eggs with Feta on sourdough. Was real good. read more

Caffe E Torta - Poached eggs and avocado over sourdough toast. - Cafes Near Me - Melbourne, VIC

Great little cafe with amazing food and coffee! Enjoyed it so much we went back the next day. Great place to relax and recharge.

Coffee consistently of decent quality. Service brilliant. Highly recommend the brownie. Best I have had and an appropriate size. Attractive decor in one of the stunning arcades in Melbourne. I make sure to visit each time I visit the CBD. read more

Melbourne is supposed to be well known for its food. Well at this little cafe I came across, I found it to be average. I was absolutely starving and jut needed a little something to keep me going. I did not want a huge meal - just some raisin toast and tea. It was later in the afternoon (about 3.30pm). The raisin toast was quite dry and not very appetising. The tea was average to say the least. I got a pot of hot water and a tea bag. I saw the food being delivered to the other tables and it looked really nice. When I am next in Melbourne, if I come across this place again, yes I will give it another go and order a more substantial meal but I will not seek it out as a "must go to" place. read more

Cut charismatic little cafe with heaps of European charm ... makes you feel like you have stepped into an Italian village somewhere in Florence ;) Great coffee and pastries as well as a menu with the usual European breakfast delights. Great for a first coffee of the day on your own or with a special someone. read more

This is a lovely cafe set in the laneway just off Little Collins Street. On a wet Saturday afternoon, the waiter ushers us inside to the warm interior to a nice little table. Coffees come quickly and are very good. The music is funky and the whole place is enjoyable. Thank you. read more

Caffe E Torta - Colourful and tasteful interior - Cafes Near Me - Melbourne, VIC

I am appalled by the terrible experience my wife just had there. As she was choosing a table, a man yelled "girls!, girls! What do you want?" She said "a table". She was then "told" to sit at a table that that person chose. She then said "I do not appreciate being called 'girl'". To which the man said: "So, leave my caffe. I am the owner. Leave now!" I called this man to understand why he did that. He did not let me speak, shouted, interrupted me. I asked his name and he would not say it. He hung up on me and did not speak like a human being. Avoid it at all costs. The owner is crazy, and they probably spit in your food. read more

Ordered an almond croissant that is described on menu as being "filled with cream and custard" and costing $7.50. I thought, well I like custard and so for $7.50 I might as well. It was fresh but absolutely didn't have custard or cream inside it just that almondy flavour paste they put in things. I mentioned it to the waitress on check out and she feigned surprise - really unconvincingly. I feel ripped off. read more

Just don't... Yes, having a coffee and breakfast in laneway is so Melbourne (from the pov of a tourist) but just stick to taking a pic and move on to better spots where actual locals have breakie and coffee. Went there on the weekend cause I was starving and couldn't be bother searching for something better and I regret every bit of it. Total bill was about $50 for food quality and service that is so poor. read more

Efficient and friendly - great minestrone on a cold day!

Your stay in any city is always complimented with a good coffee and breakfast. Sometimes if you are lucky you stumble upon the best. Great food, excellent staff and very cheap. read more

Good quality simple food done well. The pasta is amazing on a cold winters day. The cakes are first rate and so is the coffee. All this is delivered with attentive and sincere service. read more

I grabbed a tissue off the table since my nose started to bleed, I was not a customer at the cafe (I was walking by) a worker at the cafe (male, bald , glasses and bushy eyebrows) yelled at me for grabbing a napkin off the table where no customers where. I am only 16 and couldn't help that there was no toilets around. They were literally the only place with napkins . As I walked off he kept yelling that I should of had a clue. Sorry but have a clue about what? A free napkin? Poor customer service, he didn't know if I was going to come in for a coffee but after that , I sure will not be going to this place . Thanks read more

Stopped by this little cafe for a well deserved break after an afternoon spent discovering the laneways and arcades. The three of us ordered a coffee each and a biscotti for me. The coffees were nice, but nothing about this experience makes me want to come back. read more

Wanting an early morning coffee at 8.20am on a quiet Sunday morning I entered the cafe with a business coleague for a private discussion over coffee. We walked past staff to sit at the back of the store away from people. As we went to sit a man with a beard said bring them 4 more menus, I said "we would like just coffee, he then directed us to tables amongst two other couples and said "did you not read the sign at the front saying 'wait to be seated'?" At this point I said "no we just want a private coffee" and I told him "if that was too hard we will go elsewhere". He became agitated and I told him read the review on YELP. He followed me out and yelled out 'Did you tell me to 'F&*% Off. I said no, I said 'read the review' he then pointed to a small piece of writing on his front wall 'Please wait to be seated.' Goodness the place was at 15% occupancy, he was so rude we will never go back. As we left and had coffee at a great cafe opposite, we noticed he still was at only about 20% occupancy. Never again. read more