Oh Hemingway Bar, what happened to you??
When I visited Prague two years ago, you were a classy refuge far from the madding crowd of cheesy cocktails meant to get you so wasted so fast that you don't realize you are in a sweaty bar full of people dressed like massive tits listening to horrible music, convincing themselves they're having a 'good time.' Ok, ok, so they probably are having a good time, but eventually one comes to the age where shopping at Forever 21 and pretending to be a grownup by drowning in fruity cosmopolitans ceases to be a good time, and instead turns into an embarrassing ordeal.
When I first ducked into the Hemingway bar two years ago, it was a cosy establishment with a solid cocktail list, and waiters in white shirts and long black aprons, snazzy for sure, but firmly on this side of twee. And now?? Out with smoking and in with the, how I loathe this term, mixology. We went on a Sunday night and were still quite lucky to snag a table upstairs. The ambience is all sleek and beautiful, and the twinkling candles on the low black tables gave everything an intimate, romantic appeal. So far so good. And then we were given the drink menu. But before I launch into the vagaries of The Hemingway Bar's offerings, a note must be given to the, er, thorough list of rules and guidelines you are invited to peruse before you read the actual drink list. There's no smoking, no seating yourself, no laptops, no being loud, no talking to strangers, no use of vulgar language, no being unruly, no table dancing, etc. etc., which may be a good thing in that it heads off groups of rowdy students and bachelor parties, but I can't say that Hemingway himself would be too excited to embark on a bender here. The Hemingway Bar is definitely marketing itself to a particular sort of clientele, people who have money and want to be titillated, but above all, want to be comfortable and safe.
And now the drink list. I had recalled that the previous drink list was mostly twists on classic drinks that have gone out of favor, but have a nostalgic appeal - manhattans, traditional cosmopolitans, negronis, that sort of thing. The new cocktail list appeared to be the drinking man's version of a student film, both overly experimental and baffling, and at the same time silly and amateur. Ghee butter infused rum, grapes, blueberry jam, bbq sauce, even candy, were all sprinkled liberally amongst the solid offerings of Beefeater gin, and Campari and single barrel whisky, as if they were hoping some of the respectability might rub off on them. My husband and I stared at each cocktail hoping to find something we liked, but because they were so complicated there was always something in them that was off-putting - ' the mezcal sour sounds alright, but I'm not really in the mood for pickled corn,' or , 'I wonder if they'll spit in my face if I ask for the bloody mary without the bacon and Dijon mustard?'
When the well-groomed waiter came to take our order we were still puzzling through the menu, so we asked for his suggestion. My husband said he liked gin and tonics, and the waiter said he had just thing. When he returned, he brought a punch glass with a trembling and pale pink imbibition, and perched on the edge was a dewy white orchid. It turned out to not be an assailment on my husband's manhood, but rather, as the waiter triumphantly announced: 'It's an edible orchid! That means you can eat it!' Thanks pal. My drink was, despite its thousand exotic ingredients (including something suspiciously called 'Hemingway's lavender bitters,' as if Hemingway spent a lot of time in between writing manly novels, shooting animals in the face, and hauling great fish minding their own business out of the water so he could pose next to them in photos, making tinctures and homemade bitters) just ok. As soon as we drank our drinks we fled the scene. I guess the Hemingway Bar isn't a total disaster in and of itself, but because it used to be so wonderful it's metamorphosis into this new incarnation was heartrending. If you are looking for a nostalgic retreat into a past world, even if it only really exists in your imagination, go elsewhere. If you want a weird and expensive drink in a quiet and nonsmoking atmosphere, the Hemingway Bar will definitely fulfill your wishes.
Pros - nonsmoking, romantic interior, swank
Cons - crushed expectations, demolished dreams read more