My 96 year old mother died, via this hospice, in May of 2023. Our family deeply regrets the decision to have called in hospice. We felt misled by the nursing home managers and also by hospice. I was health care POA for my mom, although they accepted a signature from another family member. I never saw the contract. Hospice was promoted as this wonderful entity. It was suggested two years ago; something she could graduate from. She would get more services! She would get more company! She would have her own nurse aide! She would have her own nurse! She can be on hospice more than once! We did not pursue it. Two years later, this time around we knew she would not be graduating from hospice. I was the one who started to receive daily phone calls from hospice the moment the contract was signed. The first nurse called to tell me that she cancelled my mom's upcoming pacemaker appointment which was three months out. "That is moot" she said. Insensitive, I thought. A chaplain called me to say that mom would be on a three week rotation for visits. Their hospice PR guy called me on about Day Three and said, like a salesman, "So, how are we doin'?" I was scheduled to be largely gone, across the state, for two weeks. It was extremely unfortunate that hospice had already put into works what would quickly cause mom's death. While a hospice nurse phoned to inform me that they were now putting some of mom's pills in her cheek to dissolve, not one person phoned me to inform me that they took all of her medications away. I learned of this upon calling the nursing home manager, who casually said, "Oh, yeah, she's off everything now". My mom had a bad heart. She had rheumatic fever as a child which left her with a damaged heart valve. She had two open heart surgeries in the past and was so very careful of her heart. She avoided all salt products, she kept doctor appointments, she lived alone and kept physically active. But she ended up in the nursing home from an illness and eventually had a cancer diagnosis. However, the family never expected or was aware that all of her medications, including for her heart, would be taken away. Another troubling aspect was when I received a phone call from a hospice nurse (there were several) who informed me that she had a talk with my mom and said that mom informed her that she was "ready to go". My mom was profoundly deaf. Her audiologist would confirm this. Her hearing aides (multiple hearing aides) had been lost at the nursing home. She was wearing one old one that usually had a dead battery. And so, this hospice nurse visited alone with my 96 year old mother, who was in the process of having medications removed, to announce she was "ready to go"? No family members were present. I can't believe this is even allowed as "norm". I called hospice and screamed for them to be put her back on her medications! I received a terse phone call in the afternoon from their medical director who informed me that "It was too late for that". That if Mom were to be put back on her heart medications, she would die immediately. I returned home as soon as I could. I arrived at the nursing home to see my mom, with her head nearly in her lap and her dentures jutting out of her mouth. We talked a bit. She was clearly dying. That was the last time I was able to talk with her. The next day was Saturday. There were problems with hospice putting ports in each of my mom's puny thighs. One administered morphine and the other administered a relaxant. Mom went one evening without meds, I was told. I called the nursing station at 7 PM to hear my mom's voice shout out "Help". Staff members, who knew and loved her, stayed beyond their shift and held her hand. They met me the next day with tears and asked me to get rid of this hospice. But they wanted to keep the machine that helped administer the morphine. I made that call. I was succinctly and coldly told that if I reject part of hospice, I reject all of hospice and that they would be there within the hour to pick up all their equipment. We were trapped in the trajectory we were in. Families, beware. You have handed over your loved one to the hospice and the workers and the contract. My mom had a "bad death" which lasted days. We were unable to communicate with her for the last two days. She was dying from being removed from her heart meds; her big vulnerability. Her death certificate cites her death as "natural" and then goes on to cite "other underlying conditions" and it goes on to list six really big, awful, cardiac events that occurred over days and ultimately resulted in her heart failure. It was not a death anyone would want. It was not an easy death. It was not a death without intense suffering. Why did we call in hospice? It would have been better if we had never called them. It was awful. I pray to Mom and apologize to her, every day. They are heartless. read more
