You'd be a fool not to love the Metro. It's like a newspaper written for twelve year old girls. As opposed to page three, they have adorable pictures of adorable rodents like Meercats and Pandas doing adorable things like poppong out of a cupcake or mummifying themmselves in pink ribbons on a bed of sunflowers. Instead of real news, they have entertainment news about heart-throbs Chase Crawford and Zac Efron. They also do some sport. Which isn't really in keeping with the twelve year old girl thing, but ya can't win 'em all.
But this over-simplified news is actually a stroke of genius, because the Metro is distributed during the commuting rush of about 8am, when ones brain is still defrosting and you can't handle a decision more complicated than blueberry or chocolate muffin for breakfast.
So bring on a kitten falling into a paddling pool of melted chocolate, because it's far too early to deal with real news. read more