This unassuming little restaurant didn't exactly look enticing, but having not had a bite and being…read morestarving, we bobbed in for an impromptu tea together - it was quiet, so we'd be served swiftly, and it was somewhere I'd not tried before. A waiter met us at the door, and immediately layered on the charm, which really isn't my thing. Especially when he's old enough to be my Granddad. Nonetheless, we took a seat straight away, and perused the menu. To start, the place could well do with a refurb - it's not exactly grotty, but it's not inspiring, and has the feel of an old diner.
With various Italian dishes on the menu, and pasta not really floating my boat, I opted for the mushroom pizza - being famished, there's nothing that a good bready hearty bit of carbs couldn't sort out, right? Two diet cokes ordered, and fairly quickly, the food was brought out. I spotted the waiter being a little over friendly with my companion (poor her), and hoped he might leave off so that we could at least get to eating our fare.
Oh dear. Oh dear. I'm sorry, but that wasn't pizza. That was a tasteless slab of slop. Except that the odd mushroom tasted tangy and weeks old. I'm not one to complain, I find it hard to waste food - especially when there's an overfamiliar waiter lingering - but I actually had to deposit a mouthful of one bite into my napkin. I barely ate half the pizza, and was not inclined to plough on - the cheese, sparse, was entirely tasteless and sloppy, and the mushrooms had really seen better days. I couldn't believe I was about to be so British as to pay about a tenner for the whole experience.
The waiter questioned my half touched plate, and I could not muster the energy to tell him that it was terrible. Hoping my almost full plate would say so, and the polite decline to take the left overs home with me, here's hoping they'll freshen their act. Creepy waiter, plus terrible pizza, plus lack lustre dining space, plus long and winding walk to the toilets, past the back door bins - it'll take a lot of convincing for me to come back.