"A lively, open, and lush oasis of formative thinking and progressive opportunity"…read more This is what my Groupon said about Jake's 58; and after traveling many hours in hopes of meeting Jake himself, I was looking forward to having a relaxing and beautiful middle-island escape for my family and I. What my Groupon SHOULD'VE SAID was that I was going to be greeted by a brutalist-adjacent superstructure, bereft of any fresh air. That I would be surrounded by hundreds of mindless consumers - all being herded through a small corridor that gave way to a deprived corporate shell ripe with dissimulation. The carpets were exhausted. Maybe we weren't far from Cape Town after all. Gambling is against my religion, so I walked around and met a few of the 58 Jake's that I read about online. They were all very nice. While I enjoyed my stay, I will likely not return in the near future. Great breakfast

This is the East Coast version of Circus Circus, and that isn't a good thing. In fact, this is the…read moreshortest amount of time I have ever spent in a casino. I did one lap upstairs, one lap downstairs, and I was gone. I didn't even buy a drink. I'll explain why. This is a very low-vibrational environment. Most of the people here are using government money to try to hit big on slots. Either that or they're hard-working (much respect) low-pay and throwing a Hail Mary. With dozens of reports of extremely tight slots, they're just throwing their money away. And, as always, when a casino has tight slots, they're usually very cost-conscious and don't put much effort or money into upkeep and cleanliness. To be blunt, this place is nasty. On top of that, the parking lot is an absolute disaster. I had three people cut me off for a parking spot within three minutes. Then, while walking toward the building, I guy in a big black pickup truck sped as fast as he could and pretty much let me know he would hit me if I tried to pass. But ... as he passed me, his engine blew. I don't what the hell it is but every single time someone does something bad to me or tries to cross me their life is ruined. Contrary to popular belief (in circles I travel), I never even do anything. I just act like I do and say I do so people will chill the hell out and let me be. But my middle name should be Karma. I'm walking freaking chaos. I don't get it. But I don't mind it either. Anyway... This place sucks. Never go here. Perhaps it would have been better if it was Jack's 58 instead of Jake's 58. With Jack, you have Jack The Ripper, Jack-In-The-Box, One-Eyed Jack, The Jackson Five, Jack And Jill (buck and a quarter), Jack-O-Lantern, and the list goes on and on. With Jake, he's a guy that wears khaki pants with sneakers, glasses, has three strands of parted hair, and goes to accounting conferences. Regardless of name perceptions, this place is very low vibration. If you know what that means, then you know to stay far away. I gave two stars instead of one due location and good security.