I dive into the car all hopped up on malasadas and latte from Agnes Portuguese Bake Shop. I've gotta haul ass back to the North Shore before I lose my buzz.
We headed up Oneawa St. towards Mokapu Blvd. Minutes later we were on the H3, the John A. Burns Freeway heading toward Kaneohe.
That's when my wife says, "You don't move your arms when you swim."
"Huh?"
"Your arms," she repeated. "You don't move your arms."
I knew exactly what she meant, but I stupidly said, "What do you mean?"
"You swim like a penguin walks. You don't use your arms. You can't keep up with me when we snorkel because you're not using your arms," she explained.
Kinda stung to hear her say it, but what she said was absolutely true. Anyway, she wasn't complaining, she was trying to help.
My wife is a strong swimmer, having grown up in a house with a pool. I, on the other hand, never learned to swim. I've had lessons. They always end badly, I'm too freaking uncoordinated to swim.
That's why I "swim" like a penguin walks. I don't really actually swim, in any conventional sense. I just float. Mostly drifting with the current, occasionally using my flippers for propulsion. It ain't pretty, but it works.
It's difficult enough for me just trying to remember to breathe through the snorkel thing and kick at the same time. That's already two different operations. Now I'm supposed to try to breathe, AND move my arms AND my legs at the same time? Three operations? At the same time?
I laughed a little and immediately lied, "I didn't realize I wasn't using my arms. I'll give it a try."
I really needed to change the subject. I needed a distraction.
Just then the magnificent Tetsuo Harano Tunnels came into view.
"Hey, look at this tunnel! I wonder if it's on Yelp. Wow, it's not!"
And that's the story of how I created this Yelp Page.
As for the tunnels themselves, according to Wikipedia, "The tunnels are named for Tetsuo Harano, a former state highways administrator who served the state for 52 years. The tunnels were briefly renamed for the former Governor of Hawaii John A. Burns but restored to the original name by Governor Linda Lingle after she took office."
Wikipedia doesn't mention the tunnels were built in a single night by Menehune. You read that here.
Mikey C says: review #300. read more