I had become so accustomed to pain and illness since
I was a little girl that for many years I thought they were normal. I remember
crying on my way to school even when I was 17 because the pain in my feet and
lower back was killing me. Pain started on my toes when I was 9 then over the
years fibromyalgia developed, causing stiffness and pain everywhere on my body.
I had all sorts of painkillers, drugs and therapies but nothing could stop the
pain from getting worse. My lower back pain was so bad that often I could not
move and sometimes it kept me up all night. The pain levels were mostly
unbearable, especially in my lower back and feet.Since birth I suffered from asthma and sinusitis
which prevented me from breathing normally, causing a burning sensation in my
chest and wheezing. My nose bled regularly, especially in summer. I was born with
eczema and thought that was the worst thing that could ruin my life. I had to hide
my disgusting skin all the time but I could not cover my face. My entire legs,
back of neck, around my eyes, mouth and arms had an extra thickened layer of
black scaly snake-like skin. To this day, I am highly, highly, self-conscious
of my legs and would never go out with them exposed. That was hardest to deal
with during my performing arts days as a child. Hay fever developed when I was 7. The constant
congested feeling and swollen eyes were really debilitating. Then prickly heat
developed when I was 13. It felt like having needles pricking all over my body
at the same time, like rolling on a bed of needles. Prickly heat is supposed to
last for only a few days in the summer but mine was constantly recurring, persisting
every day from November 2010 to February 2011 non-stop. It was itchy, excruciatingly
painful. At 13 I was
feeling tired and lethargic all the time. I couldn't stay in the sun, go swimming, shopping
with my friends, or, worse, to parties because I was always fatigued, in pain,
afraid of prickly heat and, in hiding my eczema, drew attention to myself.
Holidays became a chore. I was conscious of being a hindrance since I could not
walk for long, sometimes could not even stand because of pain or fatigue. I always thought constipation was normal since I
had been opening my bowels once or twice a week if I was lucky for as long as I
can remember. At 16 I was bloated constantly and began to lose appetite. Bloating
became so bad that I looked pregnant even though I had eaten nothing for up to
3 days at a stretch. I lost 6 dress sizes from 12 to 6 between February and
June 2011. I always had problems
sleeping but insomnia became a serious problem when I was 17. For two months I
would lie in bad for hours unable to sleep. I would wake up the moment I realised that I had fallen asleep, often in cold sweat, afraid
that something real bad would develop when my eyes were closed. Blinding
migraines and dizziness soon developed making me completely useless. The
unbearable pain and dizziness caused me to miss a lot of school and
social/sports activities. I could not even think and had to lie in a dark,
silent, place praying for the attack to go away. Tests and scans always came back normal and
therefore no treatments could be provided. This is how absurd conventional
medicine is, telling me that nothing was wrong when my body was breaking down
all over. Then cystitis developed, so often it occurred
that it was like urinating broken glass all the time. I was desperate for the
loo every five minutes, and only a drop will emerge. There was excruciating
pain every five minutes, never ending pain of one kind or another, often all
hurting at the same time. When I was 18 a cough that never went away
developed. I was coughing all the time which made my migraines much worse.At 19 bacterial vaginosis developed. I was
constantly discharging a thick, stinking off-white substance which made me even
more depressed. I was on antibiotics all the time and the conditions kept on
getting worse.I was a grade A student, a popular girl full of
energy. My home was an open house where friends dropped in all the time. As I
became more ill I lost concentration and kept forgetting which made learning
impossible. I felt increasingly humiliated, degraded, as I was being rejected
because I could not keep pace and do things that other girls did. Depression
set in as more devastating illnesses developed. I felt ashamed, inferior and worthless.
I hated going to the doctors because I never got
an explanation for my problems which kept on developing and nothing they
provided had ever improved my conditions or prevented more from developing. I
began to believe that my symptoms were psychological, not real, and to feel as
though I was a hypochondriac and that my doctor had better things to do than
listening to my complaints. I came to believe that everyone else was suffering
the same way just that they do not complain so I stopped complaining. I just
bought over the counter medications to treat myself and stopped wasting read more