I go diving and it is amazing there. The sauna is really well kept along with the pools. Everything…read moreis well kept and staff friendly.

Awful. What sort of a city seeks to destroy any vestiges of…read morecommunity by putting of the most monstrous retail parks smack in the middle of its historic centre? Welcome to Southampton, a city that worships the car, ignores any architectural continuity and has a by-law that fat men must wear hooped earings and must not wear shirts once the thermometer hits 80f. It is also the city that has come up with The Quays; a building of outwardly interesting architectural merit, but messes it up but putting it between medieval battlements and a pyramid-shaped hotel. Las Vegas for pikies. Anyway, on with the review. When you get inside, you realise that they have an impressive diving pool, with a clever movable floor, a nice lanes pool covered by a beautiful wooden roof. But there's no natural light. It's stuffy. It echos off every surface. Awful. Did I mention they also play techno in the baby pool? Loud techno. I couldn't hear my 9 mnth old's sweet gurgles for the Utah Saints. Anyway, the baby pool. We went early on a Sunday. One the locals told me it was quiet. I reckon it was 40 metres square and had about 40 parents in it. And 40 babies. I think I was the only man in that pool who didn't have a tattoo. I swear some of the toddlers even had them. Finally, what amuses me about this is the concept. For example, I knew there was a pool in the centre of Southampon, so I called directory enquiries and asked for pools in Southampon. Nothing. Swimming baths? Nothing. Health clubs? sorry no. However if I'd have phoned and asked for 'The Quays 'Eddie Read' Swimming & Diving Complex ' I might have got their number. You can see the council meeting now. Let's put up striking building with bad ventilation and no natural light and no room inside. Let's charge £4.30 for a half hour swim, more than even central london prices. However, we'll brand it cleverly. That'll get the punters in. That'll create the wow factor our city so desparately needs. To it's credit the changing was clean and fresh and the lockers were free. But overall a real pity.

If you have two amps at your house, one on the North end and one on the South end, and your South…read moreend amp is so loud that you can hear it all over town, then they'll rename your town South Amp Town, and then the local sports team will take the same name too. Which is what happened here. Not. First-hand experience: I've seen Southampton play live maybe 10 times. Several was in the old days when they were facing Oxford United. Then others were more recently I saw them play at home because my sister-in-law lives here. And I saw them play away from home at Liverpool's Anfield on the opening day of last season, when LFC managed to edge them out 2-1, and they went on to have a fantastic season. I actually really like watching Southampton play. This is a truly wonderful provincial team. They were formed in 1885 (Doc Brown anyone?), and they now play at St. Mary's, which has a 32k capacity, and replaced their previous stadium The Dell. They're owned by a girl named Katharina. They play in red and white stripes, but aren't necessarily big fans of the White Stripes unless they have 7 different nationalities represented on the field in which case it's a Seven Nation Army. They have one of the best youth academies in sports and have put out so much talent that it makes me tingle in my groin. Recent products include Adam Lallana, Theo Walcott, Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain, Wayne Bridge, Luke Shaw, and some guy I don't know named Gareth Batman Bale. They're currently doing well in the Premier League having risen up two divisions recently to get there. The team is known as the Saints but they hired my gf once and she confirmed they are sinners. Their best performance ever was runners up in the Prem in 1984. However they went one better in the FA Cup and won it back in 1976, their greatest achievement. Which was celebrated with a Softmint (an achieve mint). They were beaten in the FA Cup Final in 1900, 1902 and 2003. They were beaten in the League Cup final in 1979 but one out of five isn't bad, ask Meatloaf. Their greatest player was Matthew Le Tissier, regardless of what anyone says. Channel Islands ftw.

Brilliant club, this is the place everyone in town ends up in by 11pm. Reccomended to get there…read moreearly as can get quite packed by 10-11pm, make sure you get a seat and keep it!! Smoking area out the back outside. Big dancefloor, 2 bars. Dj box next to the dancefloor, 2 lots of toilets. They play all the chart music and dance classics. Good night out here!

Top place to end your night, very busy after 11pm so get there reasonably early. They have opened…read moreup the back which is nice and quiet away from other main roads so you can have a fag without getting knocked down. Inside is a long bar, a medium sized dance floor which is always packed and on the other side are plenty of tables seats etc. Average prices for a bar stroke club, toilets are reasonably clean whenever i go.