It was £175 for an ok room for one night for 2: yip £175 yet breakfast was not included. There was a bit of irritation as check-in only began beyond 4pm, rather than 3pm when it should have commenced. Mal-administration perhaps? It came over as amateur but at £175 for an ok room for a night, amateur, delay and ineptitude have no place at this price. When we got to the room it was also irritating that the electronic access card didn't work. The dimly lit room was cosy warm with a comfy bed. In - room tea/coffee/kettle and a well stocked fridge were tucked into the wardrobe. Our room had one of the smallest showers I've ever been in, at about an ungenerous two feet wide. Having overcome check - in and delayed room entry malfunctions we headed down to a cramped bar area for wedding related refreshments. The coffee was lukewarm and watery. The tea was also poor tasting as the water wasn't hot enough. Tea leaves need fresh water just off the boil to maximise flavours. The tea and coffee were good quality but quality alone sometimes isn't enough. If you don't do it right then quality is wasted as was the case here. Not upscale more amateurism or laziness or perhaps the daft excuse: health & safety? The amuse-bouche were plentiful and served with smiles. They ranged in quality with my preferences in order being duck rillettes 10/10, salmon toast 9/10, goat cheese tartlet 5/10 as the pastry wasn't made with butter and they were dry through overcooking (or heating & reheating) and breadcrumbed mini fishcakes 3/10 made with cheap, pre frozen, pink salmon, little or no butter, no fresh herbs and an overpowering fishy taste. It was poor that the dip with the fishy fishcake was from a jar of mayonnaise: a cheap shortcut I didn't expect from a hotel positioning itself as upscale so yet evidence of style over substance. When I asked the server what fish was in the 'cake' she didn't know. It was also plain from her "I don't know' that she didn't much care either: maybe amateurism - you gotta walk the talk folks but if the server is on minimum wages I couldn't be critical of her malcontent malfunction. The wedding meal itself was pretty good for the most part, but not great. I had St Maure goat cheese with various salad leaves, sliced blood orange & pistachios to begin. My beef brisket main was very good and 7/10. It had great flavour served with a lightly fried perfect egg 10/10. I finished with what was alleged to be an artisan cheese plate. This was quite poor quality so 2/10. Maybe a Malfunction. Rather than artisan I got industrially made, mostly low grade cheeses, and none had any powerful cheese flavour. The worst thing of all about this was that this non-artisan cheese plate was served warm from the kitchen. So the hard cheeses sweated and the pasteurised Brie style cheese, that had already begun to sag when it reached the table, sank within a few moments into an unpleasant rind-topped oily cheese puddle. Later in the evening we were treated to delicious mini slider burgers that were ace 10/10 and barbecue style spicy chicken wings 6/10. I didn't try the bacon mini muffins or the chips. All cocktail drinks were exorbitantly priced. The dining room had about 80 wedding guests and was overfilled at that, to a point that was uncomfortable. There's another irritation to note. The in-room shower gel & shampoo tubes are labelled the best that you can steal. We've already paid for them so if we decide to take them and throw them in the bin that's our business and it certainly isn't theft. We could discuss daylight robbery style theft with Malmaison. So is it a wedding venue; certainly not for more than 50 in our view. Would we return here; well maybe but not anytime soon as we can stay for 3 nights half board in May in Malaga for less than £175. Our hotel there is right by the Mediterranean. I observed a fellow guest at check-in as we checked out. She was trying to pay for something. She tendered a paper £10 Bank of England note. She was told it could not be accepted. An upscale place would have been discreet rather than broadcast this non transaction for us to hear. More malfunction and maladministration. I imagine had she handed this £10 over as a tip it would have been a whole other story. Maybe he doesn't realise that customers make pay days. When a business in the service industry is charging £175 a night room only, £9 for a small glass of wine and upwards of £12 for badly mixed cocktails I expect every single aspect of customer delivery to be flawless. This consistently wasn't the case here. read more