Just last week I posted a photo of the first flower of spring in my garden: http://static.px.yelp.com/photo/nLvCZq9ukVJqO0Pl8tXvuQ/l. Little did I know that the next day it would be eaten, bulb and all by a malicious squirrel that dug up multiple tulip bulbs as well, and burrowed assorted holes in the flowerbed on its destructive expedition. While our friendly Squrabbit (half-squirrel/half-rabbit http://static.px.yelp.com/photo/r1lEY_MYwk47de0rNebUBg/l ) has abstained from such mischief in the 1-1/2 years she has been coming around to visit us, this particular varmint embodies the bad rep squirrels get for the trouble they cause. About $50 worth of bulbs mysteriously never appeared along the fence by my house. I suspect the same critter did it. I've been through this before. About 5 years back, my mom's house was overrun with squirrels doing similar damage to the garden. While in Michigan that summer, I bought a cage trap at the Bigari's Ace Hardware in Iron River and put it to use. Being an animal lover, I wish no harm to these critters, but they need to respect that I want to keep a nice garden. I named my devious plan the "Rodent Relocation Program" and performed a daring catch-and-release operation in which I deported illegal squirrel immigrants to local forest preserves and cemeteries. This is the kind of environmentally-friendly program that would probably be approved by George W and the Dept. of Homeland Security, as it is probably more ethical than waterboarding or phone-tapping. I would place peanut butter on a cracker and lay it on the lever inside the cage. And surely enough, I captured a squirrel almost every day, with the top prize coming when I had 2 of them shacked up in the cage at the same time. In a span of 2 weeks, I successfully captured and relocated 13 squirrels to local cemeteries and forest preserves. So this morning, much to my amazement, there was an angry chattering squirrel sitting inside the cage, the cracker and sunflower seeds all eaten (see photos in review). While showing off photos of the captive are in violation of the Geneva Convention, at least it is entitled to a nice final meal as it awaits final deportation to the woods across from Maine South HS. [Police lights flashing] Bad squirrel, bad squirrel... Whatcha gonna do when they come for you, bad squirrel. Update 4/8/08: Captured squirrel #2 and released to Axehead Lake on Touhy. Trap will be set out again. Update 4/10/08: Squirrel #3 captured and relocated to Belleau Woods on Busse in Des Plaines. Update Nov. 2008: Caught 5 squirrels in 5 days, all successfully relocated. read more