As part of going to mediation with my ex husband/co parent we were ordered or recommended by the mediator to attend 8 hours of co parent counseling. After much back and forth about whether to attend a councilor in our medical network or not we landed on Dr. Hoffman at Amity. Dr. Hoffman is out of network and came highly recommended by both of our lawyers.
I will say, yes, Dr. Hoffman is great. I started out in this situation very positive about him. If I could afford it, Id see Dr. Hoffman as a personal therapist. He's very good and very down to earth. I trusted him.
Here is the down downside to this type of therapy. If the other person is not open to therapy, responsive to therapy and also has alleged addiction issues, you are not going to go anywhere with therapeutic resources. I don't recommend it in any form of joint therapy. This includes co parent counseling, marriage therapy, family therapy. If the court orders it, go and follow the instruction of the Dr. but do not get your hopes up. Focus on making yourself better.
A few things I discovered while going through this process is nothing that is talked about or agreed upon or disagreed upon is inadmissible in court. This become more obvious when dealing with a high conflict person. I found that as the Dr. didn't take notes on the sessions. I'm a note taker. I took bullet pointed notes on what was discussed at each session. One Friday session there would be positive progress in what seemed like good co parenting cohesiveness happening. Then Sunday night or Monday morning everything that was discussed is thrown out and its another nonsensical fight or disagreement was launched again. When we went back to counseling to "Try Again" the Dr. couldn't remember what was discussed previously. It was quite frustrating. Come to these sessions with zero expectations positive or negative. If you come thinking there will be some kind of break through you will be full of resentment/disappointment when its over because it goes no where.
If you're dealing with any high conflict/alleged addict go to an Al-Anon meeting or a Nar-Anon meeting and work on yourself. Focus on yourself and recovering from what is going on and if I had to guess, has been going on for a long time. Your children will be better in the end. You cant help your kids until you put your oxygen mask on first. Remember you wont be dealing with this forever.
We went to over the 8 hours of court ordered sessions. Having a lawyer is your best option in a high conflict situation. That being said if both of you are open and willing to go to therapy, come to Dr. Hoffman. I can see the possibilities. I can see the work and tools that he has to help. Again, if I could afford him Id see him personally once a week. If you're dealing with the other type of situation, hire a lawyer and move on. read more