Melissa was incredible and I COULD NOT RECOMMEND HER MORE. She SAVED our labor and delivery !!
Melissa was invaluable to my girlfriend (34), to myself, and to avoiding what may have been a very traumatic labor experience for my girlfriend.
My gf went into pronounced labor at 4 in the morning, and when we decided to head into the hospital at 7, Melissa headed right over to meet us.
The scene at the hospital when we arrived was very overwhelming and confusing (doctor, midwife, and multiple nurses in a small room, many questions being asked at once, and multiple interventions immediately being offered (insisted on?)). My gf was overwhelmed by pain and the energy of the room, and Melissa was AMAZING in asserting and advocating for the preferences my gf was asking for ("She said SHE DOES NOT want a cervical exam right now" / "She said that hurts and she wants you to STOP"). I want to emphasize that at no point did Melissa interfere, but rather simply emphasized and upheld the boundaries my gf was stating. This was particularly helpful when I had to leave to move my car out of the emergency room lane.
We had many decisions to make over the 25 hours of my gf's labor (Magnesium?, Fentanyl?, Epidural?, Pitocin?), and the Doctors were always too insistent and overbearing, while also being evasive when they thought our questions weren't aligning with what they wanted us to do. Whereas Melissa always gave us the information we needed ("Yes, it's possible to give birth on Magnesium without Pitocin" / "If she's shaking uncontrollably, she doesn't need to start pushing, you can hold her and help her 'labor down' for an hour so she can rest before she starts pushing"), along with the language that we needed to state in order to get the doctors and nurses to give us the "breathing room" to make the decisions patiently as a family.
The doctors and nurses did not have bad intentions, but they were often lacking in solidarity, or overly impatient with us, and throughout the entire 25 hours, the only person we felt was ON OUR SIDE, was Melissa. She gave us the support and information we needed to feel confident asserting our preferences, while also feeling safe.
Without her there, I am certain the Doctors would have been able to leverage my gf's stress and fear into railroading her into an experience that would have been much more rushed and traumatic, and with less of a sense of agency or control.
I have not touched upon even 10% of what Melissa did for us (bringing us food, setting up candles, acquiring the Peanut and Birthing Ball for us from the staff, amazing coaching of my gf during the pushing, taking pictures during the birth, and constantly reviewing our decisions with us, and supporting them, no matter what we chose).
Her knowledge and experience as a Doula, with her own two labors and births, and her strong, supportive, and caring manner were the rock that we relied on, and that ultimately provided a magical experience that my gf will treasure and remember forever.
One final note to the men out there, but I was initially quite the skeptic of the whole Doula situation, and I could not have been more wrong. With her intelligence and confidence, Melissa supported me as much as my gf, especially when my gf was either passed out or too overwhelmed with pain to be going over all the details, and I was trying to weigh and research all the medical options. Never was I more happy to not feel alone in trying to navigate a situation. read more