The most accurate way to describe him, and the truth behind his claim of "care", is this: trusting…read morehim with my most private thoughts felt like letting a doctor examine you for his own inappropriate satisfaction instead of for your well-being. It was a long, steady betrayal. His soft, caring mask was a façade. This was never about being a good therapist; it was about being a decent human being when no one is watching, and he failed at even that. I believed vulnerability would be met with help, not used as a weapon. He used to be a better person back in 2017-2019, but then he began to place himself above others, acting as if he knew better, and allowed himself to be dehumanizing, patronizing, and belittling without noticing or correcting it.
I removed my review months ago because he convinced me I was projecting, and I didn't want to damage his career unfairly. But the harm didn't fade. It seeped into every part of my life. Therapy can cause irreversible damage, and he showed how: he went after my confidence and sense of self first. Months later, I still struggle to speak or feel like myself. No therapist is allowed to do this and then walk away because he feels like "checking out." "Do no more harm" meant nothing to him. In his final message, he told me it was good that I'd never trust anyone the way I trusted him. He succeeded, he frightened me out of connection, pushed me into isolation, and never once acknowledged what he'd done. Protecting his ego mattered more than understanding my reality.
For years I crawled myself to his office through shame and anxiety, shaking, sweating, avoiding his eyes, digging my nails into my skin, trying to share pain with him. He was supportive at times, but he does not care whether you are dead or alive, and he refuses to do any extra work when his perspective or method is hurting you. Repeatedly he triggered trauma responses and then deflected, denied, or acted as if it was my fault. Intimacy and trust meant nothing to him unless it fed his ego. When it didn't, he withdrew, withheld support, and used the very wounds he knew about to destabilize me again.
I tried to repair the relationship and told him what hurt. He didn't listen. He dismissed me, labeled me, and repeated the same behaviors. When I requested my records, I was stunned, shallow notes, missing every harmful moment, packed with meaningless trivia like me showing him a necklace. He erased anything that showed his misconduct. I still can't tell whether he lies or truly doesn't understand, but he gaslights and deflects with such ease that you start doubting your own memory. I trusted him more than myself, and he never earned that trust. He sides with men reflexively, hides behind a "supporting women" persona, and becomes demeaning and passive aggressive when a strong woman shows vulnerability. I cried fewer than ten times in more than 300 sessions, often only because he cried first so I felt safe that he won't get cold and unempathetic instead of being open to talk about it. When I lost a close family member, he refused to let me speak about her because I didn't have a grave photo. There were many moments like that, all unresolved because he chose DARVO every time.
There is no consistency in his work and little ethical grounding. He abandoned me at the worst time, knowing I could barely speak. He avoids difficulty and punishes vulnerability in subtle, passive aggressive ways. He should not have the power a therapist holds. He doesn't grasp the damage he causes, and he belittles clients to protect his self-image. I saw a drastic shift between how he treated me when I had a prestigious job and how he treated me when I was unemployed. He absorbs clients' status as his own, and any threat to that affects how he behaves.
After eight years, instead of closure, he made a retaliatory call filled with demeaning, humiliating comments, almost pleased to strike when I was frozen and unable to speak. Months later, I'm still struggling to find my voice. In hindsight, I see the pattern clearly: he used me like an object, broke me, discarded me, and then blamed me. Deeply unethical therapist.
