I'm not even gonna lie as much as i love a few staff members, I was traumatized. my life spiraled…read moredownward. yes i found God again, but it was forced down my throat. lots of things happened that were staffs word against the girls. i kept my mouth shut about almost everything because i was forced to. i got written up once for singing in the shower because the song wasn't christian. that gives you a general idea of what it was like there for me. some of the staff were amazing and so sweet, while some others were the horrible to us and didn't care about us truly at all. i came in an atheist and wasn't offered a second option until about 3 months in my program and then if i chose that route i would have to completely start over everything i had already done. i would never recommend this place to a child, especially mine. let alone me, lost at 15 just needing someone to truly understanding all the terrible things that'd happened to me and the trauma i'd gone through before going there. i lost every single friend i had while i was there because i was gone so long and they found other people to be friends with except for one which i ended up loosing too once my addiction began. what i really needed was a hug from my father telling me everything is gonna be okay i'm here for you. i needed someone to truly be there and someone i could trust and showed me i could trust them. i needed them not to judge me and understand i was hurting and i was a hormonal teenage girl. not to have a year and a half of the most valuable years of growth as a teenager ripped away from me. i came to Hope Harbor a little before my sweet sixteen. i had my sweet sixteen crying on the couch begging my family to let me come home. then i also had my 17th birthday while i stayed there. we were aloud one 15 minute phone call on tuesday, where i would do the same thing and this continued for the half a year until i realized it's not worth it nothing will change their mind. i used to smoke weed, and run away from home, and get in frequent bad arguments with my parents. but it was deeper than that. here i was basically forced to change my religion against my will, or rather act like it until i really started to kind of believe God might be real. nothing about the hope harbor program made me believe in God. what really did was Mr. Allan, a great man who volunteered there. i had to put on an act for everyone just so that i could leave. i contemplated suicide daily and thought out plans of how i could carry it out, legitimately. i debated hurting myself badly just so i could go to the hospital because i thought it would be better than staying there and hoped i would get placed somewhere else. and at the hospital i could actually eat all the food i wanted to or until i was actually full rather than one serving size of everything we ate which i was never aloud to do there. if you are debating on sending your child here i pray you reconsider and look at all your options or really do your research first. but in a few ways it has positively impacted me. i met one friend. i met a few great staff who are still here for me. i got baptized, but not truly because i really wanted to and felt God telling me it's the right time, but to please my family and the staff members so i could leave faster. but i do believe in God today, but i won't give the credit to this place at all. when i truly found God was in the depths of my fentanyl addiction that began once i left hope harbor when i was crying on the bathroom floor begging him to just end my life or help me. my life was been hell since the end of my 15th year i ponder who i would be today if i was never sent there. what things would've played out like and who i would be today. if you know who i am and went there with me i want to say i'm sorry for everything we went through and i love you guys. and to Miss Tracy, Miss Kayleigh, and especially to Miss Katy and Mr. Allan, I love you and thank you for being the peace in my hurricane. also i'm 2 months sober now.
Edit : you may not sing or hum any songs that are not Christian, listen to any songs that are not Christian, watch anything that is not Christian besides Disney movies, have any hair color that is not natural, have any piercings, wear any dark makeup or nail polish, all you do every day is school and then chores and then Bible study & volunteer work. If you are not Christian, they don't care. It is not all religion & culture inclusive. Once I was messing with my friend talking in a British accent and they wouldn't even let us do that. Every food you eat has to be the perfect serving size and you can never eat seconds. You have to stand around the table and the staff tells you when you are allowed to sit, and then you all have to sing the prayer. You have to memorize so many Bible verses in order to progress and eventually get out if you don't memorize the Bible verses, you literally can't leave. staff once threw their book bag at my housemate.no one believed me
