Not long ago, I wrote a less than laudatory review of my experiences at St. Barnabas Hospital. I…read morewas born there when it was located in Newark (Newark has never been the same since!), my mother died there long after it had moved to Livingston, and recently when trying to enter the establishment to have heart tests performed, I would have been better off had I been accompanied by one or 2 specially-trained Commandos in order to find a parking spot, breach abrasive and antagonistic "registration" and "security" desks, and finally arrive at the designated "zone" where the tests were to be performed.
I know that the Sleep Center is a part of the same establishment, but my experiences in the 2 places have been as markedly different as night and day. Tangential to the heart tests I recently had done, it was suggested I get tested for "sleep apnea." I'm not knowledgeable about sleep apnea, but I guess it can be a contributing factor to heart problems. I was agreeable, but the thought of trying to sleep in a room, wired up like Frankenstein, with people staring at me through a window (think "Nightmare On Elm Street") was not a prospect I could face with equanimity. I've been an insomniac for most of my adult life (I think the condition started when I was backpacking across Europe with my oldest friend when we were in our early 20s and we "crashed" on trains, train station floors, park benches, bars, dirt-cheap "youth hostels," etc.). My insomnia is not as bad as it once was (on 1 occasion in my 20s, I was up for 3 days straight, and that was without the benefit of cocaine or a stimulant of any kind!), but I still sometimes have trouble even when I'm in a darkened room, all by myself, my system suffused with Unisom and "Nighty Night" tea, sound machine turned up full blast to "white noise." I was told by my doctor that I could perform the test at home myself and didn't have to suffer through that nightmare scenario of attempting to doze off overnight in the Sleep Center itself.
I mentioned all this to my old friend, who is a chronic hypochondriac (his paranoia about his own health makes me look like a piker in comparison) and has already had every test performed that you're scheduled to have performed, and then some. I mentioned that I didn't think I had sleep apnea as I wasn't "that overweight," and he said, "My Dad was a perfect weight, healthy guy, tough, and he had sleep apnea. Don't fool around with it; it's serious business. You could die in your sleep." I responded, "Yeah, but if I have to die...and I think I'm gonna have to, at some point...that's exactly the way I want to die. In my sleep." He didn't have a response to that one. I said, "It's a joke. Yeah, I'm gonna have the test done. Relax."
Unlike with the heart tests performed at St. Barnabas, I received an information packet via email with easy-to-follow directions to the sleep center. A parking permit was provided for the specific sleep center parking lot. I was admitted at the front door, traveled up to the 6th floor, and met with a tech who explained everything to me and provided me with the equipment I would be using. Everyone I encountered was efficient, friendly, helpful. I was told to bring everything back the next day.
At home that night, I downed a Unisom pill, hooked up the equipment (a "wrist watch" to turn everything on, a small monitor taped onto the breastbone to measure "snoring," a tightly fitted "cup" I had to keep my finger inserted in), and...that was pretty much it (the "wrist watch" flashed "Good Night" to let you know that everything was functioning properly). I still thought I might have trouble sleeping, but I was out pretty quick. Morpheus welcomed me with open arms. I awoke next morning with a migraine, but at least I had slept.
That next morning, I returned all the equipment as instructed, and again encountered no difficulties or undue stress during the process. I was in and out of the center quickly. I still don't know, at this point, whether or not I have sleep apnea, but my experiences with the Sleep Center specifically, as opposed to St. Barnabas generally, have been positive and professional.
Highly recommended.
(In fairness to St. Barnabas as a hospital, I feel it incumbent upon me to mention that they're dealing with every injury, accident, trauma and disease imaginable, whereas the Sleep Center is focused on sleep difficulties exclusively...or, as in my case, sleep difficulties as they might be related to heart issues. Not that that obviates or negates the review I wrote about St. Barnabas itself...which was a mediocre rating at best...but I do like to think of myself as being fair.)
