Looking for a relaxing River Walk? Then don't park here. Unlike civilized parking garages, this one…read morehas you taking your ticket, keeping it on your person, and then paying at a kiosk when you re-enter the elevator lobby (if you can remember where it is). Upon parking, there are several signs warning you to bring along your ticket. Fair play. What they DON'T warn you about is that you will be charged $17.00 for 47 minutes - still, that wasn't the worst part.
We found the elevator lobby on our way back and used the kiosk. We scanned the original ticket, frowned at the $17, payed it like the champs we are, and pocketed the receipt. Meanwhile, between the two of us, someone disposed off/lost the original ticket with the scannable code. But we thought, no matter, we have a receipt showing we paid and the receipt has our license plate number, which caused us to fall into an entirely false sense of security.
We attempted to exit in a timely fashion, but alas, the arm wouldn't raise. I had a recently graduated Airman in the car who needed to be back on base, so this was vexing. The kiosk at the gate apparently wanted to scan our original ticket again, even though we had to make the effort to walk into a lobby, find a kiosk, and pay. They knew our plate number. Why not just have us pay as we drive out, like any non-satanic parking garage?
After frantically searching the car, I was forced to jump out and dig under the seats, while cars pulled up behind me. We ripped apart our wallets, my purse. the glove box, etc. i ran back into the lobby and looked in the trash. I had to walk back and explain to the cars behind me that I had paid, but there was a problem. A real fun and cool thing to have to do.
Finally, an angel lady showed up and beckoned me over. She told me she's a remote employee and couldn't help me directly, but that there's a "help" button on the kiosk and if I click that, I will be connected to another angel who will raise the barrier after I read them the numbers on the receipt. (Phew!)
After running to explain to another car what the hold-up was, I pressed the button and a not-so-angelic voice answered. Turd Ferguson told me that I needed to find the original ticket with the scannable code or I wasn't going anywhere!!!??? I told Turd that I had the receipt proving we paid WITH OUR LICENSE PLATE NUMBER and that I'd been advised by seraphim that it was viable.
Turd doubled down and told me to check my wallet again and made other banal suggestions. I reminded him that I would never have used a "help" button and taken time to run up (and probably scare) other drivers to hip them to the ways of the Turd, if I hadn't already thoroughly searched my surroundings.
It is hot in San Antonio. I was all dressed for cool, artsy strolling, but Turd didn't care. I had to work up a sweat and almost burst a vein before he finally acquiesced and let me just read the numbers, like the angel lady said I could do , and opened the gate.
We paid $17 for 47 minutes and Turd made me sweat for another five. For sadistic amusement? Pettiness? Stupidity? Small wiener? Whatever the case, park somewhere else.
