How do you review an eleven-year relationship? We were so young, Splendour and me, when it all began. Some might say it was a scandalous start, me at seventeen years of age attending Splendour's first birthday (a legitimate birthday, the first ever Splendour in 2001). We were young, we were crazy, we were in love (with music).
It was a one-day event back then, mostly attended by the hippies of Byron and the kids like me heading in because it was a gig we were legally allowed to attend (with our beautiful under-18 wristbands). I followed my favourite band there--Something for Kate had just released Echolalia and I was smitten. (I'm still smitten, though not sure if I'm proud or embarrassed to admit it). That may have been the highlight for me, but it was on par with throwing my hands in the air like I CARED A LOT ABOUT THE WORLD! for Michael Franti, and doing my best trancing to Squarepusher in the doof doof tent because my festival buddy had gotten us both hooked on My Red Hot Car. Also walking past Dylan Lewis and having him throw us the friendly horns after yelling "DYLAN!" at him was pretty great--we were already missing Recovery pretty bad by then. Were I to rate just the 2001 event, it would have scored five stars.
Originally in this review I kept going with a recap of each year I attended the festival, but it got too long for the 5001 character count so I decided to nip it in the bud. I'll probably turn it into a blog post instead. You may note I used past tense when I wrote "attended", because I'm sure to not attend Splendour for a very, very long time now (if ever). This is partly because I've moved from Brisbane to Hobart, and partly because Splendour has become a douche-fest full of punters off their faces who don't give two hoots about the music, instead proud to go down in history having been off their face at a festival for an entire weekend. I'm a bitter, jaded old lady now and the music can't overcome the jerks, so it's sideshows and sideshows alone in my future.
Were this review for historic events, it would be four or five stars. But I'll stick to being a poopy pants. Our relationship was wonderful while it lasted but in the end, it was a bad break-up... I'll blame it on Other People, but let's face it, Splendour. We grew apart.
In its current state... Splendour? Eek! Methinks not. read more