You: He's not really going to review a church, is he?
Me:…read moreYou're go... sh darn right I am!
Let's make one thing clear right off the bat - I don't like organized religion, and I certainly don't like going to mass. But I'm also not one of those Atheist a-holes who refuses to let other people express their spirituality.
That said, I had to come here for a baptism, and you know what? It really could've been worse.
From the outside, the church looks tiny, but inside, the ceilings are surprisingly tall, and there's a good amount of seating.
As the name suggests, most of the churchgoers are Chinese, though there were some non-Asian folks. The mass was conducted in three languages (Cantonese, Mandarin, and English) to make it welcoming to most everyone. So that was nice. Some of the translations were a bit dodgy though.
At some points, it kind of devolved into a comedy act, where the Cantonese pastor would finish speaking, the English speaker would start translating, and then the pastor would interrupt him before he was done. Must've sucked for people who only understood English, but it was probably the most entertaining part of my Sunday morning.
Anyway, this is a full-body immersion baptism. There's a little pool on stage. When not in use, it's covered by 3 or 4 of those plastic Costco tables. Can't imagine that's OSHA compliant, but whatevs. They also broadcast it on a screen above so everyone can watch.
The screen was also pretty funny. It's right in the middle above the stage, so it blocks the giant cross behind it. So when they're not showing stock image Powerpoint presentations, they project a photo of the cross on the wall... on the screen that's blocking the actual cross.
The whole Bible thing isn't my cup of tea, but the only thing that made me roll my eyes were the bits about how wives should always submit to their husbands. Lots of younger people in the crowd, so that's a great message. Oh, and also the slightly anti-Muslim/pro-Israel rhetoric kinda turned me off.
The service was reeeeally long (over 2 hours long), but afterwards, there was a free Chinese lunch. I didn't stay for that (the place basically became a mob scene), and I just went to go get pizza down the road at Joe and Pat's instead.
Oh, and two other good things about this church - they have a decently sized parking lot, and it's located right by the highway. So you can really spend just the bare minimum amount of time in Staten Island.
