Lovely.
I ordered the Bristol Bad Boy pizza, which was their hottest. And a can of cider, which in itself is cool! £1.50 for a can of Black Rat; OK it's not a bargain but it's bloody nice to have a can of proper cider delivered with a bit of grub.
I was surprised at the sheer size of the Pizza, what some call large and what the rest of us fat fuckers call large are two different things. This was large.
Dough was good, they also, like the international chain that isn't Pizza Hut, supply a pot of dip for the crust. Really though what I could have done with was a frozen bog roll....
...Eating the pizza I scoffed. Ha! Call this hot? I've had hotter ice cubes! Pah! I might sue under the trade descriptions act. Loved the freshness of the peppers, but they're not spicy at all!.....
...Then, all of a sudden, BAM! It was like getting punched in the mouth by Mickey, the Bristolian god of fire. I could tell this was a fresh, almost lethal bird-eye or similar. What did I do to deserve this? Why no warm-up Jalepeno or some other "really spicy" thing?
Maybe I dreamt it. Maybe the Black Rat was making me hallucinate. My eyes watered, which was handy, because I was watching Armageddon and I didn't want my wife to know it made me cry.
But no, 'twas no dream. My bumhole made that perfectly clear this morning. I haven't had a gut-wrencher in a long, long time. I was forgetting what it was like to have your intestines twisted like a load of washing on a spin cycle. It reminded my butthole of prison. Taste wise though, nothing comes close. And Black Rat! Not Blackthorn!! read more