THE QUEST FOR THE FINEST COFFEE IN ALL OF SAN DIEGO…read more
Once upon a time in the land called "San D'Camelot", later shortened to just "San D'iego", there was an all-powerful king named Arthur. King Arthur sired a nepo baby named Lil' Arthur whom he loved dearly. Lil'A was destined for exalted glory as he will soon inherit the kingdom and take a clean wife.
But the times were unsettled because ye kingdom's squires had become disenchanted by the local coffee. It had become bland and bitter, like horse sweat. So The Crown sent Lil'A away to conquer nearby villages and take their gold and their women of child-bearing capacity... and to find the fabled coffee so divine it awaketh the dead, and hath no scent of gym shorts.
To assist, The King decreed that Lil'A be accompanied by thee magical advisor "Merlin", who was well known for extracting the sword "Excalibur" from an unrelenting rock (Pro tip; WD40). Merlin took the sword to a place so distant that no mortal man would ever find it, so he's seen some sh*t.
Lil'A and Merlin will take the "Route 5" quest, which shalt be commenced by counting to 5, no more no less. 6 shalt not thou count, neither count thou 4, excepting that thou then proceed to 5. 7 is right out. Once the number 5 is reached, this will lead ye to epic riches for king and country. But having nay budget for horses, ye comrades must journey on foot, uncertain of their destiny ahead.
Soon, ye came upon the "Enchanted Barrio", which was guarded by a magnificent sea dragon named "El Salivotas". Lil'A demanded swift entry. E.S. refused, "Ye shall not pass. I was born on this spot 1000 years ago and I will stand for 1000 more before I shall let ye pass." But with a flick of his wrist and some dramatic flair (he was a bit of a showman), Merlin banished the dragon to the sea.
Finally, after what felt like years of jousts and banishments, across guarded barrios and treacherous mission valleys and awkward encounters with herbal tea enthusiasts, ye arrived at a place in the "East Village" that giveth a warm welcome. Cozy seating made of reclaimed wood, wizard baristas casting spells with ye steam, and aroma so intoxicating ye knew thy treasure was nigh.
At thou first sip of this magical elixir, a heavenly chorus rang out from above. Or maybe it was just ye locals practicing for Sunday service? Returning home with thy bounty of burlap sacks filled with the finest coffee in all the realm, ye legendary quest would inspire future generations to seek out their own culinary adventures. And ye annual "caffeine crawl" was born.
Pro tip: One of the many caffeine crawls we have joined over the past 12 years, the #5 route included Cafe Moto, Ryan Bros, Miracle Potion, Acento Coffee Roasters, and Yipao Coffee. They all shared fantastic samples, passionate stories, and best-of-all: free schwag. After this, I've got three, maybe four quests left in me, but only if someone supplies a horse (or at least a golf cart.)