I work right around the corner from the Auction Rooms, and have had numerous business lunches there that I've raved about. Brilliant food, great rustic atmosphere - and phenomenal coffee. So when two of my friends suggested we go there for dinner, I was really excited. But the difference between lunch and dinner at the Auction Rooms is a big one - and their evening meals and service leaves a lot to be desired.
First of all, the atmosphere is totally different - by day the place is buzzing and constantly crowded, humming with life and so full of light thanks to the high ceilings and glass wall at the back of the room. At night the place is gloomy. The hanging light fixtures that look so quirky-chic by day offer a low glow by night (many of us struggled to read the menu! The 8-point font didn't help either.) - and then there was the fact that the place was practically empty. Our party of eight arrived to see only three other tables filled (with couples) and the usual warm hum & chatter was totally missing. After our meals, I even wondered if the lacklustre atmosphere was due in part to the lacklustre menu?
Anyway. I was going to the Auction Rooms thinking of all the great, plentiful lunchtime meals I'd had there (lovely pork-knuckle sandwich, beef cheek and their soups are to die for!) - so I was really excited to see how they'd do an evening meal. Unfortunately there's no way to see what their 'after 5pm' menu is, because their (laughable) website is one page that tells you when they're open and little else. Okay. So we got to the Auction Rooms, ordered drinks and had a gander at the menu - a few things sounded interesting; chicken wings, carrot salad, pork knuckle . . . and reasonably priced. Our table of eight started picking what we'd have. Then the waitress came over to inform us that it would be $60 a head, and we don't pick our own meals - we get a small selection of each of the 10 or so listed, and share them. Huh? One of our party asked "like a tapas set-up". Waitress squirmed - "No. It's an experience. You get a little of everything. A real food experience." Again - huh? The menu mentions nothing about this being a $60 a head bit-of-everything set-up (and since the website was decidedly sparse - we had no way of knowing about this 'small selection' $60 each menu until the waitress told us . . . and, conveniently, after we'd opened a bottle of wine).
God bless that poor waitress - she was just the messenger. But a few at our table tried to wrangle around this $60 tapas-but-not-really-tapas menu. "Can we order individually anyway" one friend asked (we had people on our table who eat Gluten-free, and a few other allergy-related needs that meant only 1 or 2 dishes were edible for them, and if they came out in small portions they'd only be getting 2 out of the 10 on offer.) - again, the waitress squirmed and explained that, yes, while we could order individually the food wouldn't come out all together, it would come out one at a time. HUH? Now we're getting frustrated, especially when the waitress kept whittling on about it being "an experience" - an expensive experience to get a whole bunch of food you don't particularly care to eat (and why did I get the impression that she'd had to 'sell' this idea a few times now? Clinging to the "it's an experience!" sentence like it was her lifeline). Much more discussion was had; we noticed that there were only 2 chefs cooking so they really weren't equipped to make individual meals at all. Urgh. Fine. We caved, and had the waitress pick a few dishes for us (not all 10 - we just wanted 5 or so of the dishes because some of them sounded really unappetizing)
They were okay. Not great. Not worth $60 a head and offering little in the way of a culinary "experience". Warm olives with sourdough bread was quite nice for starter. Monkfish with fennel in a creamy sauce (a blandness extravaganza!). Lamb riblets that were more fat than meat. Really nice lemon-y chicken wings was the most plentiful meal of the bunch. Carot salad which some raved about and others picked at. Bratwurst with Brussel sprouts, red cabbage and a poached egg. Each dish came out one at a time, with 3 or 4 plates between us - the bratwurst was the most confusing, because you only got 1 bratwurst on each plate that had to be cut up (so between 8 of us, we got one mouthful each).
To be honest, we may have been more accepting of the tapas-but-not-tapas menu if we'd been fore-warned of the 'sharing experience' and how pricey it would be. If it had been explained on the website or, heck, even at the top of the menu! As it was, we felt blind-sided and forced into this "experience" which I can only describe as a bastardized, 'hipster-ized' attempt at tapas that fails miserably for the so-so, overpriced food on offer and inflexible menu if you're not up for a not-tapas "experience." The Auction Rooms even shuts at 10PM (on a Saturday night. In Melbourne.) read more