I don't recognize this clinic after my first visit, in which everyone was so kind, friendly and…read morerespectful - across the board.
They called yesterday to switch my appointment less than 24 hours before, which I was happy to do, after such a beautiful first visit and warm welcome we got.
Today, the nurse didn't believe me when I explained his severe reaction last month post-vax and impatiently brushed it off, saying that what I described wasn't related to vaccinations but didn't have any idea and wasn't inclined to probe further; while the nurse I spoke to on the day he was sick was reassuring, kind, and noted everything. Minimizing and invalidation are unhelpful regardless of circumstance.
It would have been more helpful to have been met with professional listening, rather than slighted white authority. I've had to reach out to the Alberta Veterinary Medical Association to see if I can find someone to help me understand my bill and try to get his records to let me know what was done today.
I have a bill with extra charges that I don't understand and which were not discussed with me at any time, and because the ladies are now evidently feeling group-slighted, I can't get any answers. (RESOLVED, see follow-up)
The nurse told me it would be a 30 minute appointment, after coming out 10 minutes late (after cancelling my appointment and asking me to switch to a time that was more convenient for them) and said they'd call me when they were finished, but didn't; so I sat in the street in my car waiting for the call that didn't come til I finally did, after 50 minutes, thinking he may have died from another bad reaction to his booster shots; and that's why they left me sitting out there, without carrying through on what they initially told me.
What an incomprehensible flip side, after an initially warm and welcoming visit that made me feel good about bringing my sweet boy to them. A lack of respect for time and passive-aggressive 'forgetting' afterward is unacceptable professional conduct. I have the right to know how his visit went instead of being met by toxic niceness and eye rolling.
Now that I see the poor baby who had his leg amputated and the tender soul who was sent back Home to howls of laughter hurts me deeply. Knowing that others are being met with this kind of mean white girl treatment, how do you expect your clients to trust that you are extending compassion to our voiceless fur babies behind closed doors?
FOLLOW UP: Received a call from the practice manager to tell me initially, how hurt they felt by my feedback and that I made them look like 'a bunch of racists'. After listening to my concerns, she said that she learned a lot about what white privilege actually means and that she found what I shared to be very helpful in understanding what had fallen short in terms of how we both would have loved the visit to have gone.
At close of business today, after I reached out to AVMA, the doctor decided to phone me to tell me how hurtful my sharing is, rather than accepting responsibility for the multiple points in the clinic service that had fallen short.
That said, unexamined attitudes and an organizational culture that permits passive-aggressive behaviour (e.g. eye rolling and side stink-eye) can reasonably expect to eventually discover that this behaviour demonstrates disrespect, regardless of how entitled to her outrage, anyone may have felt.
"Mean white girl behaviour" is also known as social aggression:
"The words now associated with female aggressive behavior include: excluding, ignoring, teasing, gossiping, secrets, backstabbing, rumor spreading and hostile body language (i.e., eye-rolling and smirking). Most damaging is turning the victim into a social "undesirable". The behavior and associated anger is hidden, often wrapped in a package seen as somewhat harmless or just a "girl thing"." (DM Oliker, PhD)
It's painful to sit in the deep discomfort of hard-to-swallow feedback, instead of resorting to denial, moral outrage, or guilt-trips, but hopefully this type of service experience will never occur again. The practice manager assured me that she understands that some of that behaviour could very reasonably be construed as discriminatory in the provision of services.
No one appreciates being treated like the social "undesirable" by so many different people. It should have stopped at the nurse or tech who came out to get him. Point made.
