We enrolled our daughter at Virginia Beach Friends School for her 6th grade year, drawn in by the…read morepromise of small class sizes, individualized attention, and a school culture built on kindness. Sadly, our experience fell far short of those promises, and we made the difficult decision to withdraw her mid-year.
Small Class Size Individualized Attention Our daughter's class had only six students -- something we believed would mean more personalized instruction and closer teacher-student relationships. In practice, that was not the case. Teachers were not proactively communicating with us about our daughter's academic performance or classroom participation, despite the fact that there were only five other students in her entire grade.
A Serious Bullying Situation That Was Never Communicated to Us: The only other girl in our daughter's class made daily threats -- including saying she wanted to break our daughter's spine and throw her out of a window. This same peer also openly discussed self-harm in the classroom. These are not minor social conflicts. They are serious, ongoing threats that any school should be obligated to communicate to parents immediately.
Our daughter started the year strong, finishing Q1 with all A's and B's. As the bullying continued, her grades began to slip in Q2. It wasn't until we proactively reached out that a meeting was arranged with the head of school, the educational director and the admissions director. During that two-hour meeting, we learned that the school had already been aware of this student's behavior, had met with her family, and had issued consequences such as silent lunch -- multiple times. We were well into late January and had never received a single call, email, or notification about any of this.
That meeting produced a clear action plan: teachers would make a greater effort to connect with our daughter, and the educational director would meet with her individually each week to help get her academics back on track. Neither of these commitments was ever followed through on by the school.
In the weeks after that meeting -- and after we informed the school we would not be re-enrolling for the following year -- our daughter began receiving write-ups for minor infractions: breaking a pencil, tearing up a piece of paper, not asking for help. We also received her Q2 report card, which included a D in PE. Not once had her PE teacher reached out to share any concerns about her performance or participation. In a class of six children, there is simply no excuse for that lack of communication.
The pattern of events that followed our meeting, combined with our decision not to re-enroll, felt deeply retaliatory rather than supportive.
We ultimately pulled our daughter from Virginia Beach Friends School mid-week and transitioned her to a public school to complete the remaining 2.5 months of the school year. It was not a decision we made lightly, but it was the right one for her wellbeing.
TLDR:
Virginia Beach Friends School markets itself as a place where children feel safe being uniquely themselves, and where kindness is the school's number one value. Based on our family's experience, those values did not translate into action. Our daughter did not feel supported, seen, or protected for a single day she attended. If you are considering this school for your child, we strongly encourage you to ask hard questions about how they handle bullying, how they communicate with parents, and how they follow through on commitments -- before you make your commitment.
