Absolute garbage experience at House of Dank in Grand Rapids (3510 E Mall Dr SE)--do not waste your…read moretime or money here. I bought a vape pen that was completely dead straight out of the package--clearly a chintzy piece of shit from the jump. Took it right back, and they exchanged it for another of the exact same model (their only "option," as the manager smugly insisted, even though I explicitly told her I didn't want it because it was defective). Opened the "replacement" outside--dead again. Went back in a second time (same purchase, returned twice), mentioned I'd even gotten harassed by cops and ticketed on the way back for using GPS to navigate their crappy location (none of which would've happened without their defective crap), and asked for a refund or something that actually worked. They refused everything, hiding behind their bullshit "manager's discretion" policy like it was a joke--despite Michigan Admin Code R 420.214c explicitly allowing returns for defective products (which their own policy echoes: returns for damaged/malfunctioning items within 14 days at manager discretion, original packaging intact).
The tattooed, perpetually stoned "manager"--a mid-30s loser who struts around proudly looking the type to be shamelessy making 240 dollars a month on OF thinking she's hot shit (sorry, you're the prettiest waitress at Denny's -- you look like a horse saddle with teeth)--actually admitted there are "problems with them" (that batch/model). So they KNOW these vapes are faulty, yet the budtender hyped it as a "good product" to sell it anyway. Deliberate lying to push bad inventory--that's straight scamming, especially when state law (CRA rules) requires them to handle defective returns properly, and they've got no excuse not to exchange for something else viable.
I briefly worked in this industry during Oregon's medical-to-rec transition in '17. 12-15 pound Lemon Sour Diesel trees outdoors--proper fire grown with care. Somehow every corner of the weed game is infested with these scumbags: cutting corners, peddling garbage, ripping off customers. It's largely because all of the people who cozy up to it who have talent beyond bullshitting everyone they partake in commerce with: take the fuck off like I did. You think the idea of weed is enough for me to overlook a self-paced career as a mechanic; working on boats, barking 175/he shop rate at people who don't even flinch? Helll no. The people at House of Dank are peak example--selling low-quality defective stock (echoing those 2025 CRA vape recalls for contaminated carts across MI stores), misrepresenting it, then refusing to fix it beyond the same trash. Reminds me of the old black market fake carts full of cheap terpenes and worse, just "legal" now so they get away with it. Reddit threads (like r/grandrapids calling them out for rip-offs and ignoring returns) and scattered reviews confirm this: dead vapes/carts, no real fixes, shady "no returns once you leave" excuses despite the rules.
You'd figure in Michigan--where it's so damn boring there's nothing else to do but perfect weed--they'd be good at it. But nope, we still suck statewide. Detroit thinks it's the entire fucking state, and spots like this prove why the rest gets overlooked for good reason. Next time I'm flying past Grand Rapids on the interstate in my 911, remind me to skip exiting altogether--no stops, just blow right by. The place has evolved into a giant weed store and 90 percent of it is marketed to the lives-in-probibition, vacations-&-weeds-himself or work-trip-and-weed: whatever the reason for being a walleyed larry: that's who they want to sell to.
I haven't even brought up the garbage that half worked -- beyond the point of taking it back -- prior to this.
Online reviews (Weedmaps, Yelp, Reddit) hammer House of Dank locations with the same: dead products, ignored complaints, no real returns/exchanges despite policy, shady service. Corporate rec greed at its worst.
Shop anywhere else--LIV Cannabis is literally right around the corner at 3769 28th St SE (way better vibes, expert local staff, premium MI-grown at good prices, positive Weedmaps/Yelp reviews for service and knowledge), or hit up Cloud Cannabis, Exclusive, Pharmhouse, whatever. Pro tip: LIV takes cards (debit/credit, no Apple Pay though), curbside/pickup/delivery, and actually seems to give a shit. House of Dank? House of Deliberate Scams. Zero stars. Never again.
