BEWARE. BREACHED HER DUTY AND ACTED INAPPROPRIATELY AND UNPROFESSIONALLY. ABSOLUTELY TRUE AND…read moreFAIR ACCOUNT.
I had written a review over a year ago and noticed that somehow it was removed. Note that I make every effort to be fair, truthful and detailed in my accounts and reviews as you can see from my other submissions. I also usually maintain documentation; records, emails and messages to substantiate my claims.
About two years ago my fiancé and I engaged Ms Koegl's professional services, primarily to prepare us for marriage (communication skills, conflict resolution skills, adaptation, etc) and to help us best cooperatively manage my fiancés Borderline Personality Disorder or "BPD" which was a challenge in itself. I also desired to work on ways to improve myself and be a better partner to my future wife. I was very willing to accept that I had my own work to do. After all, I had been the one to propose to my fiancé that we seek support for our relationship.
After the first session which was largely informative and directional, some of the deeper issues and emotions relating to how the BPD was affecting my fiancé and relationship came to surface. It was quite emotional at times but we trusted Joanne to provide us with understanding and guidance on our issues, to share how best to take care of ourselves and each other, and to work through the occasional episodes that could occur. BPD can be a serous condition and is largely rooted in trauma and fear of abandonment so we were taking this very seriously. At a certain point it became apparent that providing my fiancé private sessions with Joanne might be helpful. I was paying all such costs (joint and individual) and it was not cheap but I was determined to provide our relationship and my fiancé with all the support we needed. After a few months or visiting Joanne, and unbeknownst to me, my fiancé informed me that Joanne had started to suggest that my fiancé end the relationship, that I was a narcissist and that she should essentially 'run'. My fiancé told me that at first she was alarmed by this and actually started to consider if it was true, if I was not who she thought I was. After all, why Joanne would suggest such a thing, behind my back and so secretly. But as we began to talk things out privately my fiancé was able to overcome her alarm and feel grounded with me again. Eventually she expressed every confidence in me again and even stated that she did not believe in her heart that such warnings were justified or true. She felt bad for me knowing that I had selected and trusted Joanne.
Joanne NEVER told me she was telling my fiancé such things. Quite the opposite, Joanne and I met privately several times and she led me to believe that she was committed to helping us improve our relationship. All the while, she was advising my fiancé to leave me. My fiancé shared with me the email messages that proved this. Joanne had breached her duty to us, and had betrayed our trust. If Joanne for some reason felt the relationship was doomed, unhealthy or not something she could provide support for, she should have informed me first and then suggested we find another form of support. Never should she have leading me to believe she was helping us reach our goals while behind my back, speaking so negatively of me and undermining the very efforts we were making to be responsible and prepare ourselves for marriage. I see it as a betrayal, a breach of duty, grossly unprofessional and duplicitous.
When I subsequently confronted Joanne on the matter, she admitted to such actions. She said she was wrong and regretted her actions and that she misjudged me and that later she realized I was a good man and genuinely trying to do the right thing for my relationship. What a bizarre and troubling thing that was for me to hear. There were sessions that were more intense and emotional than others, but that is where Joanne should have been patient, not judged, and simply seen that as part of the process of uncovering and working with deep feelings, not to turn on me. A therapist has a duty to not rush to judgement after one or two sessions but to allow their clients time to cycle through the levels of emotions, beliefs, history, etc. before an overall assessment can be fairly made.
My fiancé and I stopped seeing Joanne and thousands of dollars later, and much disappointment and wasted time and energy, I was left only with the opportunity of sharing with others our story. I see that she has some good reviews and some very poor reviews. Im not here to comment on the experiences of others, but in our case, I deeply regret the trust I placed initially in hiring Joanne to help us.
God Bless and feel free to reach out if you have any questions.