For my first home birth I knew I wanted the archetypal ancient wise woman village midwife with gnarled hands, a raspy voice and mysterious jars of herbs lining her smoky, earth-smelling hut. I found this archetype in a local midwife who, at about 36 weeks into the pregnancy, suggested Heather as our second midwife. We didn't know her and hoped she would be a good fit with so little decision time left. "I think you'll like her," plainly stated our midwife.
When Heather arrived for the prenatal team meeting, she asked if she could touch my belly. I said yes and she promptly dug her hands in, methodically prodding my innards with a natural healer's touch until I could tell she had felt enough. "Hmm" she considered aloud. Then, decidedly: "You're going to have a leggy baby". I loved how she was so unafraid to touch me, to touch my baby.
My labor turned out to be 49 hours, progressing incredibly slowly through dilation. After 36 hours Heather arrived as the second, thinking she'd be there a few hours to birth the baby. Instead she ended up staying for over 12 hours, despite being our second. It wasn't until Heather arrived that my labor picked up. She firmly nudged me to approach the challenging positions: one leg up hip circles, inversions, and stairs. She held me accountable for the labor of my labor and it is because of her that I was able to get to 10 cm at home. I am eternally grateful to her for that.
It was a no-brainer, then, that when we found ourselves pregnant with our second, I wanted her to be our primary midwife. Yes Heather is grounded and intuitive, but she is also firm and no-frills. I love that about her. The second time around, I knew I could birth my baby myself. I just wanted a midwife there as a guide in case I got lost. I wanted a witness, and that's exactly what Heather was. She mostly stayed out of the way during our labor, letting my partner walk me around and letting me labor alone. Occasionally she offered some guidance - "you can stop timing contractions now" and "maybe try the stairs?" - but otherwise let the process unfold with minimal interference. When I reached 10 cm I was gifted the opportunity to experience what some call the Quiescence. Then my husband entered the birth tub with me and we pushed our baby out together. At some point I noticed Heather quietly watching from the stairs. She didn't come over until the baby was born and it was time for vitals. She knew that's what I wanted, and because we were all healthy she knew she didn't need to hover.
After my son was born, my partner and I had a difficult time grappling with the issue of circumcision. My partner wanted it and I did not. Heather was by my side during the weeks-long exhausting conversation, and offered to attend the bris to support me if that's what we decided. I felt incredibly held by her, especially in that tender, early post-partum time.
Heather is adaptable and non-judgmental. She is available as you need her, not just based on a list of services. She is an experienced mother, healer and guide, and I am also honored to call her a friend. read more