Our family used the funeral home for my grandfather's and later my grandmother's funerals. The arrangements worked out fine. However, we found the proprietor's manner to be off-putting. My uncle attempted to correct errors in the draft obituary for my grandmother. The proprietor snapped that it was the same as for our grandfather's obituary. Well, that obituary was wrong -- why not just graciously accept the correction? At the funeral, in the church, he loudly barked at his assistant about putting the burial shroud on the coffin correctly; it was a bit jarring. Then at the gravesite, I was a pallbearer. He gave unclear directions as to how to line up. When I didn't understand immediately, he barked rather rudely at me, too, as if I were an idiot. I am sure when you have done this 1,500 times or so that it is very obvious to you what has to be done, but it is not obvious to someone who does not do this all the time and is in a great state of grief. I would have expected in all these situations a level of graciousness and soothing calm befitting this difficult and solemn occasion. That is not what my family received. read more
