Being a Miami Dolphin's fan is like being married to an abusive husband that keeps beating you and beating you but you don't leave. Domestic violence is always wrong but I will let Chad Ochocinco head-butt me as many times as he needs to if the Fins would take him come back. He's changed I swear.
This is a franchise that's made an art form out of making bonehead decisions and losing football games. Apparently someone sold the team's soul for the 1972 undefeated season and they've been cursed ever since. Here is some evidence to support my claims --
Top 3 ways the Dolphins prefer to lose...
#1 out performing their opponent in every category yet having no points to show for it.
#2 having the lead and letting the other team score in the final seconds of the game.
#3 having a huge halftime advantage, then throwing the last two quarters.
They've been mismanaged by the likes of Bill Parcells and Dave Wannstedt to name a few --
David Boston - after a stellar career with the Cardinals and Chargers, David 'Blowston' gets to Miami and blows! Blows his drug test by using roids, blows out his knee before contributing, and after a year of rehab, does it again. They basically paid him millions to sit on the bench and order Canadian GHB from his smartphone.
Jason Taylor - almost career 800 tackles, more than 100 sacks and has played with Miami for over a decade...he doesn't belong on this list. That's until Jason 'Traitor' decided to play for our arch enemies, the Jets in 2010. There were 30 other teams in the NFL he could've sold-out to. Tisk tisk tisk...after Zach Thomas gave him his sister in marriage and everything. And his performances on the Dancing with the Stars debacle...embarrassing.
Wes Welker - a man that returned a kickoff, a punt, kicked an extra point, made a field goal, and had a solo tackle in one game and you trade him to your AFC rival for some draft picks. Chef Wes' specialty is the revenge platter, he serves it cold --
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4rq75F9AnwI
The front office has a history of releasing under-performers so why don't they fire
EVERYONE that works in marketing and PR. The Fins already tarnish their image with sub-par performances on the field, they don't need to pay for additional help. Fins Up! Really!?
http://www.ryeflorida.org/images/2009-10/Inbounds/clarissa/fins%20up.jpg
Theme Song - when I want to see what retirement is going to be like in 35 years, I'll head to the closest Margaritaville Café. If I'm hosting a party and I want to clear it out, I'll ask the DJ to play 'Son of a Sailor'. And If I wanted to pick the song that least represents the 305 I'd choose the Dolphins' current theme 'Fins' by Jimmy Buffet. I can't believe I'm saying this, but Pitbull could do better.
We've had our share of good times though --
Larry Csonka - back in the 70s when Caucasians could still be running backs, this bruiser held the distinction for being the only player to ever get an unnecessary roughness penalty while running the football. He knocked out a would-be tackler with an elbow smash, now that's power running.
Sam Madison - no matter how pissed you were about spending $65 a ticket just to see your hometown heros break the league record for most punts, the original Sammy Sweetheart would cheer you up by making an interception and dashing around the field on his way to the end zone.
John Offerdahl - NFL defensive player of the year, a slew of pro-bowl appearances but Johnny O's greatest achievement...Offerdahl's Bagels. The croissants are so soft they're using them as an alternative filling for goose down pillows.
I could go on about the greatest QB of all-time, Dan Marino or the most successful coach in NFL history, Don Shula maybe the cheerleaders but the truth is, I don't need to. I grew up with the Dolphins, they're like family. I'll stick with them even if they're going down the wrong path, like getting nine great running-backs and not one decent quarterback..again..Miami Dolphins #1 read more