The service was dreadful the minute I arrived. The lady at the front desk said my hair looked like…read morethe cockroaches she was about to throw in my food. The atmosphere was disgraceful; there were constant shouts of anger coming from the kitchen, and plates and glasses were frequently dropped everywhere, covering the floor in a deadly blanket of tiny, razor sharp shards. Not to mention the sound of the music, which played at an ear-splitting volume, containing a voice that can only be described as a dying horse, repeating strange, foreign, cultish chants.
When a lady came over to give me a menu, she spilled water all over my shirt and trousers, and proceeded to yell at me for being in the way, despite the fact I was sitting down. When I got up to wash the sticky, slimy substances off my clothes, she kicked in the back of the legs, and I fell face first into the numerous glass shards on the floor, causing blood to run down my face. as I stumbled to the toilet, I slipped face-first on a large, squashed cockroach into the food of the lady in front of me.
Once I arrived to the toilets, there were rats waiting for me in the urinals, which thankfully scampered after I scared them away. The other 2 urinals were clearly blocked and overflowing with urine. The floor was covered in a thin layer of yellow residue, which I could only assume was dried urine. The cubicles weren't much better - hate symbols were drawn on the walls in human feces, and the toilets themselves had had their toilet seats ripped off. Every lock was snapped off and smeared with poo. The taps spewed a strange, greeny-brown liquid leaving my hands and clothes worse smelling than before. The handryers splattered poo (which had clearly been jammed into them) onto me, and there were no paper towels as they had all been stuffed into the urinals. As I left the toilets, wearing flip-flops only, and opportunistic rat bit the back of my feet, which have now become infested. Clearly the rat was part of the urinal family as it was also dripping with human pee.
Once I left, and returned to my table, a mean-looking woman came to take my order. She hit the menu into my face when picking it up, and didn't apologise, despite the fact that I was once again bleeding. As she spoke, she spat black, cigarette stained spit into my eyes and face. Her breath smelt like the stench of the aforementioned toilets. Her nails were long, scraggly and uncut. She dipped her whole, feces stained, dirty hand into my drink, her nails scraping the bottom, and licked her fingers, commenting on the taste of my drink. As she walked away, she trod on my toes with her sharp high heels.
My Diet Coke wasn't fizzy- and numerous dead flies were floating around in it. While waiting for my food, I got up to take a phone call, when the waitress pushed me over from behind, cracking my phone and my face on the floor. She claimed I was in the way again and disturbing her waitressing duties, before going on with her day. The fat, pig-like, sweaty couple in front of me, asked me if I needed a paper towel for the blood on my face, and when I said yes, they gave me a soggy, yellow-soaked paper towel which liked like it was from the bottom of the urinal. I confronted them about this, and one of them, the middle-aged man, got up and spat in my eyes, before kicking me in the testes. None of the restaurant staff did anything about it. As I left to return to my table, the man kicked me in the back as one final blow, winding me, and herniating a disk (which I would later find out the day after, during a physiotherapy session).
After 2 hours, my food finally came, as shown in the picture. It was covered in a devilish, white fungus, which I can only assume was severely poisonous, as that night I had numerous bouts of diarrhea and vomiting, last all throughout the night. Right as I was about to eat, the waitress came up to me, saying "I forgot something" before sprinkling live insects into my food. Despite the appearance, the food, although making me severely ill afterwards, was actually tasty. After I had eaten, they had charged over £200 in hidden fees, leaving my total as £250. When I didn't tip 50% instead of 40%, the waitress spat in my eyes, and then clicked 50% on the card reader. The restaurant staff swore and threw glasses at me as I left.
All in all, I had a devastating experience, I would highly recommend going to your grave before having the chance to even think about this diabolical restaurant. 5 stars.
