I saw Dr. Patel in July of 2020. I've thought about this visit a lot since it happened, and have…read moredebated writing a review about it multiple times. It was my first appointment with a gynecologist and the experience was so unpleasant that I thought that I should share my thoughts to maybe deter the behavior I experienced or help people decide if they want to go here.
When I first got seen, it was by a nurse. The first thing that was strange was when I was asked about gender. When I said I identified as female (I'm a CIS woman), the nurse said "sorry, I think that's a stupid question, but I have to ask it". As somebody who is very much not transphobic, I was put off by this. However, this was not what made my experience unpleasant. When talking about my health, very personal questions were asked (which is expected, it's a gynecologist's office) but it was as if the questions had no weight to them. Immediately I felt as if I was being treated as a number and not as a person--it was very rushed. I was asked questions that required me to disclose traumatic experiences I had went through, and when I disclosed, I felt as if the tone of the conversation shifted to judgment immediately (imaging feeling like you are being judged for your sexual choices, experiences, and trauma, something I've spent years in therapy working on. It was not a good experience ). What should have been a normal visit to a provider quickly became triggering.
When Dr. Patel saw me the "not a person, but a number" feeling carried through. When seeing my medical history, I also felt judgement from Dr. Patel. She made a point to ask me "are you sure?" when asking about my current sexual choices--as if I was lying to her.
In addition to this, there was certainly a somewhat condescending tone about my weight. I struggle with my weight as many people do, and I have hypothyroidism, a condition that makes it especially difficult to lose weight. I also suffered from eating disorders years prior, so it is a complicated issue for me that has a lot of baggage attached to it. However, this type of medical history isn't asked about. I don't remember what was said about diet and exercise, but I explicitly remember a somewhat fat-phobic tone to it. Not in a way that would be expected from a doctor (I have seen doctors and dietitians and neither have ever made me feel as if I was a burden like I felt here). The best way I could describe it is, it felt like Dr. Patel was in a hurry, and she spoke to me as a number and not a person. It felt very "ugh, another fat person".
While I wish this was it, it's not. After all of this, I had to be naked in front of this person. I wish I had just left. I was having a Pap smear done and I have scars on my body because I used to self injure as a teenager. I am in a much better space mentally (through lots of hard work!) and I always tell doctors why the scars are there so that they aren't shocked or worried about my well-being. When I told Dr. Patel this she said something along the lines of "oh yeah, I noticed (the scars). I feel like a lot of kids did that and then stopped when they got older". What I usually hear from doctors is "thank you for telling me". Dr. Patel's rhetoric made me feel as if she was insinuating that I stopped self injuring because I matured. As an M. D. I am sure she knows that immaturity is not why people self injure. Depression and anxiety are very common, but complex issues that many people have to go through, and self injury can be an unfortunate reality for people coping with these conditions untreated. It is not something to be shamed, or to be associated with characteristics such as maturity/immaturity, age, etc. It is very hard to disclose about such an issue, especially to a stranger who just saw my naked body. While her comment might not have been malicious in nature, it was inconsiderate and honestly, triggering.
I left the facility knowing I will never be back. Before coming to this facility, I read about gynecologists in the area and specifically avoided some because of their Yelp reviews about treatment toward plus-sized women. Unfortunately, I got similar treatment here, but worse because of the other parts (the questions/reactions by the nurse, and the judgement I felt throughout). This experience has made me afraid to go to gynecologists, and makes me worry that when I have children, I will feel judged by my doctors instead of helped and cared for. It just felt so uncomfortable and I hope I don't feel this way again when I go to a different practice.