I am of the firm conviction that anyone who believes that a devastating natural disaster that kills thousands of already disadvantaged people is God's way letting us know he's pissed... well, that's the kind of person that probably shouldn't be on mass-market TV, but instead should be standing on an overturned fruit crate under a bridge covered in dirt and screaming at passers by to "repent." Yet for some reason, CBN continues to air the 700 club, as it has every morning since 1966*, with Pat Robertson as lead sociopath (err, I mean Anchor). For that, my goodly friends... for that un-deniably non-christian ethos, the CBN earns a lowly 1 star. Pat, maybe this one star is god's subtle way of telling you that you're full of shit.
The 700 Club - and CBN - an ample subject for my 700th review.
I've seen snippets, segments, and bits and pieces of CBN broadcasting for years... really throughout my life. In fact, it reaches 95%* of US television markets! It's always been a very bewildering phenomena to me that this many people watch the CBN. I guess Mao was right - religion is truly the opiate of the masses.
Broadcasting from its ultra-luxe environs in sunny Virginia Beach, VA, the CBN spreads it's mixed (and often contradictory) message of love, hate, and good old fashioned judgment 24-hours per day on several channels including En Español! In fact, from the looks of the photo on the website, I'd say those gilded CBN offices would rival even a Billy Graham-style TBN studio! Where'd all that cash come from, anyway? Oh right, Jesus advocated an opulent lifestyle. I forgot.
...but I digress.
One thing I can say, and this is for sure: nothing hurt me more on Sunday mornings as a kid than when my cartoons would get interrupted by some old angry white men thanking god for what they perceived as him punishing the heathens in between telling us how to lead our lives and who to pray for. As I've grown over the years, I've occasionally tuned in to witness the sideshow of wonders and blunders that take place on the 700 Club each and every morning. It would be a thoroughly entertaining comedy of errors were it not so frustrating and maddening. This is not a knock on Christianity. Oh no. It's merely a condemnation of the CBN's misguided and skewed version of it that they broadcast every day.
Overall, I find the programming from CBN to be contrived at best, and dangerous at worst. If there is anything single-handedly dumbing down huge swaths of the American populace (at least outside of reality television), it would absolutely have to be the CBN programming lineup. While I have tried to accept these shows at face value, it's simply too preposterous for me to even begin to take seriously. It's so obvious that this is beyond even entertainment. It's sheer subterfuge for ulterior motives, none of which seem to jive with the actual tenets of any honest religion, especially Christianity.
So for failing to broadcast anything worth watching ever, and for going above and beyond the call of duty by broadcasting actual hate and vitriol, I give: One. Golden. Star.
And in case anyone's wondering, I'd rather not be a part of The Club.
__________________________________________
(*according to the website) read more