Why is "head of a woman" hanging upside down and "still life with bottles" and "earthenware" sideways? Why do they have 2 pictures in 1 frame, 1 of the paintings set correctly in a vertical frame while the painting on the other side is meant for a horizontal frame? WTF? Not enough frames?
So, I sit down in the self portrait room and whip out my iPhone and sweep a non-flash pano pic of the room. This dude in a suit taps me on the shoulder and asked me if I just took a picture. "Yes". "Are you an American". When I say, "yes, I am" he starts berating me for taking a picture (with no flash on) and lecturing me about the harmful effects of it. He was going out of his way to make sure I knew who was in charge in this place. When I politely told him that I was sorry, but I was at the Rijksmuseum yesterday and everyone was taking pictures all day, he reminding me that this is not the Rijksmuseum, it's the Van Gogh, pictures only in designated places. Again I said I'm sorry, I didn't know, to which he retorted " well, you should have asked" followed by a long stare. Really?
So, I'm walking through, taking in the Art, and then I see a bright light coming my way. There's a group coming, a couple of guys pushing an older woman in a wheelchair. The cameraman has a camera the size of a motion picture camera with a 10 gazillion mega watt flash on it and he's pointing it 5 " from "Sunflowers" and these moron picture police aren't thinking twice about it! From the reaction of the jackass who threw a temper tantrum when I took a non- flash pic with my camera phone when I came in here, I would think the alarms in this place would be ringing about now. But nothing! Meanwhile another picture police is chasing down another dude who quickly snapped a non-flash shot on the other side of the room. It does add an extra element to this adventure... Watching people constantly sneaking pictures while looking over their shoulder for the picture police. One of them is even watching me type this into my phone... He's waiting for me to tilt this camera phone upward like I'm taking a picture and he'll be here in a flash (no pun intended).
As for Van Gogh himself, his early work looks like you handed a brush to a 5 year old. The first part of the tour, through his early years, every time I saw a painting that looked wonderful, by the time that I got close enough to t to see who did it, it wasn't Van Gogh but someone he admired. Me too.
It wasn't until Sunflowers, the painting that is now eternally damaged from the 10,000 gigawatt camera, that you could begin to say "hey, this guy who cut of his ear, then killed himself might have had some degree of talent after all".
A little later I'm in the Van Gogh close up area and here comes the film crew again. I swear, he blasted "the Yellow House" with that 10,000 gigawatt flash for 5 minutes. It's ruined now! And the picture police watched him do it and didn't do a damned thing about it! I don't know who the important old woman in the wheelchair is but I'm guessing she and the film crew are not Americans.
After going through the rest of the museum I have to say, it really is interesting seeing someone go mad while holding a paint brush in his hand. And I can't figure out if he's left or right handed, and no one else seems to know for sure either. Why does it matter, you might ask? Because I'm left handed and I want to know.
Anyway, there's no point in coming here anymore folks. The cameraman with the 10,000 gigawatt flash already ruined all the paintings. Meanwhile, the picture police are still chasing down tourists who are taking pictures. I guess I'm going to move on to the Anne Frank house now and see if I can get abused there too. It's been known to happen... read more