these are the facts. the evening started around 8:30pm on January 13th, 2017 with both parties hungrier than they were willing to let on. it was a temperate night for the dead of winter. after finding an O.K. parking spot, they headed to Hersh's in Federal Hill. Hersh's was not crowded ("do you have a reservation?") and the waitress quickly informed the two people that they were out of the octopus appetizer and the clam pizza, which both individuals would not have ordered in any case (hep A). after considering for a couple minutes ordering those things anyway (as a hilarious joke), both people involved were overcome with trepidation and thankfully one of them exclaimed, 'let's not do it! let's just order.' when the waitress returned, they ordered a margarita pizza and two beers to her apparent dismay ("that's all you're getting? it's not a lot of food."). the uncut pizza arrived quickly, the people ate, and they decided to move along.
the night continued with a search for an appropriate spot to grab one drink. after passing on No Idea (too crowded), a bar with urinals under the tables ("closed") and Delia Foley's (way too crowded), the people decided on Muir's Tavern on Fort Ave. They each ordered a Bud Heavy ($2.50) and individually felt guilty about their motivations for choosing such an establishment. just when the mood in the bar was noticeably dropping, a Dixie Chicks song came on the stereo, and everyone in the bar was immediately lifted. except one person, that is. the bartender was not feeling well. a few minutes into "Landslide", she started to vomit copious amounts of fluid, mere inches from one of the individuals. the other abruptly stood up ("we need to leave") and they scurried to the door, leaving two half full Bud Heavys.
the time now was 11pm. the people walked back to the car, chatting about norovirus and whether or not it would be O.K. to arrive a few minutes late to the 11pm session of bingo at Bingo World in Brooklyn, MD- a suburb of Baltimore. the drive took about 15 minutes from the Federal Hill neighborhood, with the driver sticking to the speed limit and abiding by 75% of traffic laws. the establishment is located in a neighborhood (seemingly safe) but the parking lot is grim, with flickering lights, patches of complete darkness, and no hints as to what is lurking the shadows.
although they had been warned by previous Yelp reviews about the difficulty of navigating Bingo World's pricing and packages ("it's bingo- how hard can it be?"), the people were unprepared at the checkout counter. they decided to stick with the paper cards and forego the computers ("we want an 'authentic' experience"). this was the wrong decision. upon taking their seats, the people were immediately alerted to this fact by a new friend and clear bingo regular. she called the manager over and it was at this point that the people were first alerted to Bingo World's Member Rewards Program, which includes a free night of bingo on each member's birthday. the manger hooked the people up with a couple of bingo simulation computers (2k17) and they were ready to begin.
right now, I will take a hiatus from the story to describe the venue, so you (the reader) can visualize the following events in the appropriate setting. Bingo World is located in what can only be described as gutted ice rink filled with cheap slot machines (2/6 of the room) and long tables at which approximately 50 people were sitting with bingo supplies (3/6). there are two "restaurants" (1/6) that seem to serve the exact same fare. each menu item boasted a 33% increased risk of developing CAD. that was an insensitive joke, but I wanted you (the reader) to be able to understand the nutritional nuances of Bingo World's food options. O.K., it's time to proceed with the story.
the people borrowed bingo markers from their new friend and sat in anticipation for the game to begin as she gave them a tutorial on the (complex) bingo computers. the games started suddenly and the people were immediately overwhelmed; they were working with 5 cards each plus the computers. it continued in this manner, with periodical interjections from the new friend and manager (also a friend, at this point), for about one hour (approximately 6 rounds). there was no end or win in sight. the people thought about leaving, but one of them said, "let's stay for one more game." the final game started like any other, with little promise and 25-30% of the numbers missed on the paper cards. however, one of the individual's computers was having some success. "look at this," one said to the other, "I don't want to get my hopes up but I think I might win." with one number left on the computer, tension was running high. and then, the number needed to complete the bingo appeared on the screen. the people started yelling, "BINGO!" before the number was called out by the MC ("be quiet!" "you have to wait!). finally, when it had become clear that they'd won, the manager came over and checked read more