BaldWhiteGuy Reviews…read more
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So there I was... headed toward the chaos Blue Suede vortex known as the Ohio FFA at the Ohio Expo Center & State Fairgrounds.
Needed lunch and thought about North High Street, but was not already mentally preparing to fight for parking like it's a Black Friday sale in 2003.
Audible called.
Swung into Grove City instead.
Smart move.
Possibly my best decision since I stopped trusting gas station hotdogs.
After some extensive research (opened Yelp Columbus judged harshly, moved on), I had three requirements:
1. Not a cookie-cutter chain
2. Somewhere new
3. A menu that wouldn't trigger "I don't see anything I like" syndrome
Enter: Broadway Plates & Pints
4008 Broadway, Grove City
Grove City is that sweet spot... close enough to Columbus to feel alive, but still has that "people wave at you for no reason" energy.
Parked on the street like a rookie, only to later discover there's parking behind everything. If you can't find a spot, just check the rear. Yes, I said it.
Walked in, grabbed a seat. Smaller place, but in a good way.
Elevated tables, bar seating, normal tables for us normal-ish folks.
Big windows for prime people-watching.
My dimpled sidekick even got a wave from a random passerby. #Friendly #ShesGotFans
Then... plot twist... Cleveland Ketchup Company Ketchup sitting on the table.
Didn't even know ketchup could have a hometown. #OH..
All-natural, Ohio-made, no junk. And yeah... it's actually really good. The Bald Bunch supports local, even if it's tomatoes living their best life. Check Cleveland Ketchup Company out. They have plenty of locally sourced condiment options. #supportlocal
Server Emma B rolls up, keeps it simple. Water and a Michelob ULTRA for me.
Because hydration matters... and so does survival.
We were starving, so appetizer time:
Fried Mozzarella Triangles
Hot, crispy, did the job. Not life-changing, not disappointing. The Toyota Camry of appetizers. Reliable. Gets you where you need to go.
Now the menu... solid lineup. Burgers, wings, calzones, sandwiches, enough options to make commitment issues flare up. I was bouncing between a calzone, Italian sub, or burger...
Then I saw it...
THE KRAKEN
And listen... you don't order The Kraken.You summon it.
This thing shows up like it just crawled out of the Atlantic looking for revenge:
* THREE patties (because one or two is for amateurs)
* Bacon
* American cheese
* Caramelized onions
* Onion ring
* Steak aioli
* Brioche bun
* AND a honey butter pretzel sitting on top like a crown Just in case was not already enough calories.
This wasn't lunch. This was a full-contact event.
Immediately ate the onion ring and honey butter pretzel solo like a savage. Then went to work.
Multiple napkins required. Not first-date safe. Not job interview safe. Possibly not OSHA approved.
But man... it was GOOD.
Patties cooked right. Bacon had that perfect bite. Aioli and onions brought it all together like a greasy symphony.
Left full... borderline questioning life choices... but zero regrets.
Fries? Solid.
Pretzel Topper? Sneaky good. Honestly might go back just for those.
Service? Emma B crushed it.
Drinks stayed filled, no disappearing act, no "I'll be right back" and then vanishing into another dimension.
Now... let's talk price.
$54.25 for lunch.
Look... I get it. Everything costs more now. But I'm still gonna complain about it like it's my full-time job. Either prices come down or someone needs to give me a raise. Preferably both.
And one more thing...
Beer was cold.
BUT NOT IN A FROSTED MUG.
Unacceptable.
Somewhere, Congress is wasting time when they could be solving real issues like this.
Draft beer should never warm up mid-drink. That's just science.
Final Rating:
- 4 out of 5 Bald Heads
Pros:
* Parking (once you stop ignoring the back lot like I did)
* Great people-watching windows
* Filling, legit good food
* Friendly, attentive staff
Cons:
* No frosted mugs (we can fix this, I believe in you)
* Prices... but also, apparently I just complain now #OldMan
If you're cruising through Grove City and want solid food, a relaxed vibe, and a burger that might require a waiver... this is your spot.
And - order some Ohio Condiments at Cleveland Ketchup Company. #FreeShipping
#SupportLocal #BaldApproved #ReleaseTheKraken