I'm no stranger to counseling. In fact, I'm a huge proponent of it as it's the "gym membership for your heart, soul and mind". I've had the same wonderful counselor for years back in CO and still do sessions when needed via phone.
My boyfriend of 9 years (now my ex-boyfriend) and I needed some guidance with our relationship and Hayne was our counselor. He's very different from my CO counselor but I had hoped it would still be beneficial and effective. I did not want my relationship to end and I went in our couple counseling sessions with an open heart and mind.
Sadly, the sessions were not beneficial at all but rather, I believe they hindered us and were a factor in our break-up. The sessions were not at all controlled or safe as far as expressing things in a calm, productive manner. Quite the contrary. They were unguided, unleashed and unhealthy.
Hayne was pretty absent during our sessions. Seemed tO forget important details/topics that were previously discussed in each session and though we went weekly, it seemed to stay in the same horrific spot session after session. He spent most of the time "observing". 100.00 a session for a counselor to watch us fight. No "counseling".
Now I understand the counselor is there to guide and offer solutions, encouragement, advice and wisdom but they also should bring direct accountability, keep it calm and safe for all involved and remember the key points to the issues at hand. Hayne is soft spoken and though I'm sure he's a nice man, he is not a strong enough counselor to deal with certain things/people/trauma/issues.
In the end, the sessions did hinder my relationship and wasted a lot of time, energy and money. I will never truly know if we could have made significant progress with another counselor or it was just doomed no matter what we did or who we went to. I just know this counselor did not serve his clients well. read more