This store is awesome! I came in the store looking for cookies, but bought an entire barbell and weight set because of their bogo deal, so I just had to get the second one as well! Roger Todd waved me out the door saying, "These are tough streets son, you better start getting buff if you want to survive this concrete jungle for the next 4 hours!"
So I went out to the parking lot and assembled the weight bench. I started out repping only the bar. I got it 2 times. My arms were like a Firehouse Subs on fire, or any building really. But... anyways, so I keep going strong with bar until I can't do it anymore.
I'm like, "If I try to lift this bar anymore, it could fall on me and kill me!" So what do I do? You know it! I go back inside and bought a pool noodle! I used my 5% off for this purchase and I saved 20 cents! The pool noodle glistened in the 23rd street sunlight as day slowly started to become night... I was running out of time!
I could feel my muscles start to bulge out of my blue jean jacket, my blue jean pants (aka Canadian tuxedo) started to rip, each button flying off hitting bystanders and passing cars. Something was happening to my body, but no, my body was happening to something.....
As the world grew paranoid of what I was becoming, I looked back up at the Food City and there was Roger Todd, eating peppermints as he gave me two thumbs up! He believed in me, as so I believed that Food City was the greatest store in town.
Food City was my fortress; it separated me from the horrors that lay in wake on the wasteland known as 23rd street. I counted 15 overturned cars on fire; it was very reminiscent of a terrible Modern Warfare 3 map and that game was terrible, as evidenced by the adjective terrible, followed by the noun terrible. Witches made stew out of rotting whale carcasses, that were now growing extinct to the Chattanooga area. They eyeballed me like buzzards, thirsting for their prey to give up so they may feast upon its corpse like a fresh Pizza Hut pizza.
The mailmen were on strike! Not that the mail service is really necessary anyways, as I have Yahoo!. Cannibals ran amuck in the street. I defended myself using a drumstick and KFC bucket buckler shield to parry their on-coming attacks. I'm now level 11, no good loot as of now....Chernobyl was a greater vacationing spot. The only downside is Chernobyl doesn't have a Burger King, well, at least not anymore..... but it does have lots of radiation and stuff, which is cool for a post apocalyptic movie I guess.
Food City was there all of the time (between 7am-12pm) to help turn the tides in my favor. Food City was the 3rd coming of Jesus. Food City has the best deals in all of 23rd street. Food City has Terry's chips, the classic brand you loved as a kid. Everybody loves Terry's baby!
Out of nowhere, a runaway bus came barreling down 23rd street! There was a farmer and his daughter in the wake of destruction! I sprinted to jump in front of the bus to deflect the highly reckless vehicle, but it was all too late....
I called 911, but they had reservations at Chilis and were closing early that day. The man gasped for air, muttering, "Does Food City have The Bodyguard on Blu-Ray?" I was confused, as I had never seen The Bodyguard, so I left the man and his daughter to rest on the sidewalk.
I went inside Food City and found The Bodyguard on Blu-Ray. Roger and I sat down and watched the entire thing! Kevin Costner rox and should come back to acting. Oh and the man and daughter died.
The End read more