So I had an epiphany a few months ago. I realized I was in my 30s.
And not a student anymore.
It was all the more shocking given that it took me until 32 to notice.
Looking around my apartment in a stupefied daze... at the model airplanes hanging from the ceiling, the shoddy home-made furniture, the lego ornaments on the mantle, the fake rose given to me by my first gay fan (an SF rite of passage), my eyes eventually came to rest on my hideous $50 sofa, which, if it could talk, I would have to kill... immediately.
"Jimmy", I said to myself.... "Grow up! You're never going to trap a suitable female with this as your bait"
I went on the rampage. I was ruthless. I chucked it all, pulled down the posters, repainted the coffee table, hacked the front off my AV unit and put shiny doors and shiny knobs on it. I got rid of the box of random shite by the door, the wireless router oh-so-cleverly hidden in a shoe box... the dog tags hanging from the light fitting... everything.
When the dust had settled, been dust-busted up and disposed-of, it was just me and the sofa. Locked eye to suspicious stain, across the living room.
"Ugly 80s sofa that I bought off an ex girlfriend for $50..." I growled... "Your time has come."
I did a lot of research into its replacement. For I would need a mighty, yet debonair sofa, for what I had planned. I scoured the internet and padded the lonely city streets. I went to Room and Board, Z Gallery, IKEA, it was an odyssey involving all manner of merchants of the movable.
Then one day I strolled into Furniture Envy on Lombard. Cue angelic chorus.
Brian and Shirley are a young couple who have recently started out in the furniture trade, and I expect they'll do well. They were extremely helpful, extremely pleasant, and reassuringly straight-up. They don't have a lot of stock compared to some of the mega-stores, but they bent over backwards to keep me happy. They even bought a chair from the set in which I was most interested, for the store, so that I could see it before I dropped the cash!
Brian delivered my brand new leather sectional on Saturday, having returned the previous night from overseas. He even gave me and my buddy a ride to the pub afterwards. Now that's service!
My transformation into my 30s is complete, albeit a tad late. The new sofa is the piece de resistance of my now well-appointed and appropriately mature abode.
Heeeeere kitty kitty kitty... step inside... mu ah ah ah.
P.S. Incidentally, Aliomo's review is a bit harsh, because it seems to me Brian works his ass off, and he was having his dad watch the store while he was away. And you know how dads are... read more