Ismael. Full disclosure, I have only ever had the chips from this place. But my WORD.
I have eaten chips from all over the world; Bray, Howth, Sallynogin, Raheny, (I could go on and on); but never have I consumed such delicious chips in all of my life. I have no idea how they do it. The perfect combination of juicy, yet crisp. They know how to spread their sauces evenly, they know how much salt and vinegar to put on them. These guys act like it is nothing, but it is not. It is something, I believe, everyone in the greater Dublin area should experience before they die. "This is information the world needs to know" Julian Assange.
Let me tell you the story of the first time I tried Ismael's. It was the summer of 2016, Ireland had just drawn 1-1 with Sweden in the Euros, after Wes Hoolahan had put us in the lead with this wee beaut https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mXA4R_BKh-k the Swede's nicked one back and we couldn't break down their defence again. A proud performance, but it did leave a slightly bitter aftertaste.
"To Xico's" was the call and we hopped on the 7 bus, cans and umbrella in hand. Once we arrived the queue was bumbling along, some men behind me had Darren Randolph t-shirts on, I told them that they looked nice and that my claim to fame is that I used to play swing ball with his younger brother. In Xico's I boogied, I drank, I talked out of my rectum and received a very flamboyant scarf that I still cradle.
The lads were leaving and we decided a bit of chipper would be good about then. Ismael's establishment sprung forth into our drunken view. "Salt & Vinegar, please" €2.80, not so bad. The lads fumble around outside for a while, chatting to strangers and old comrades-in-arms. It dawns on me, in a moment of clarity, that the chips which I had just consumed were, the best chips I had ever tasted.
However, I needed to be sure it was not merely the effect of youth, alcohol & flamboyant ware, so I purchased a 2nd portion, this time I added ketchup to the mix. ASTOUNDED, it was even better than the first! I praised the chips and we all dithered and danced around outside for another while longer (we didn't actually dance I just thought it sounded nice).
After that portion had been taken care of, I knew immediately another would follow, but when... Tomorrow? Next week? Next Month? I heard the call "We're gonna hop in a taxi soon, for real this time, you coming?". The electrical surge I felt whizz through my brain in that moment would strike a mountain bear down, "Yes! Allow one moment please my good fellows!" I darted straight to Ismael's window, had their been a child there, I would have taken delight in knocking them to the floor, there wasn't though :-(.
"A Bag of chips, fine sir" I exclaimed, calmly, but Ismael, using the senses he'd acquired from years on the Ismael grill, his 3rd eye if you please, knew, just as had happened Ireland earlier, that the clock was against me. Within seconds of my order, the chips were produced. Magic. I thanked him graciously and skipped to the taxi with my final batch, for that night, in hand.
Now I know what you're thinking, chips that quick can't be good. Your thinking is well reasoned, sensible and entirely logical. BUT unfortunately for you, Ismael's cannot be reasoned with, laughs defiantly in the face of logic and has more kebab than sense. The chips, need I even say, were on par with bag number two! Aided the trip back home and enabled me to get a good night's rest.
Executive Summary of results:
Ireland 1 goal and 1 point
Ismael 3 Chips and 3,000,000 points
I finish with a poem I wrote, inspired by Ismael, titled "Ho-CHIPS"
Ho-CHIPS
They filled my belly, they filled my soul,
From that day forth, I knew were to get my - bag of chips.
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