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    Keanes House

    3.5 (2 reviews)
    InexpensiveFast Food, Seafood
    Open 5:00 pm - 11:00 PM

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    14 years ago

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    14 years ago

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    Five Guys - Chips!

    Five Guys

    3.7(15 reviews)
    1.2 mi
    ££

    We ate here for a late lunch / early dinner at about 3.30 and the restaurant was not busy, there…read morewas only one other couple eating in. The decor is very in your face American diner and it was quite loud and echoey but was spacious and clean with lovely big booths along one wall. We started to order our food and quickly realised we needed some help with the menu! Our server was lovely and explained that burgers come plain and you can add as many of as few toppings as you wanted for free (think Subway for burgers!). I went for the Bacon Cheeseburger and added crispy onions, ketchup, lettuce, tomatoes, pickle....you get the idea! Whilst the food is served quickly akin to fast food, the prices are higher, with my burger costing £8.50. The soft drinks are served as a bottomless cup (for £2.50 I think) and if it's made by Coca Cola they sell it which gives you a choice of over 100 drinks!! You self serve your drink from one of two machines and given how long it took me to browse the choices, I can imagine this might cause a bit of a queue at busier times. I enjoyed my burger - the toppings were the best bit, I particularly liked the bacon and the cheese - but the burger patty was quite ordinary. Given the number of burger restaurants in Glasgow (where I used eat my burgers) it's hard not to compare and for me Five Guys just isn't a patch on a Bread Meats Bread type burger. The chips were good, crunchy, super salty and cooked skin one, they were delicious. And I found lots of drinks I really liked, the cherry and vanilla coke is good!!!! All the staff I spoke to were lovely, a number offered to help out, with one bringing a fab high chair and crayons for A (even if bringing crayons for an 8 month old did make me laugh a bit, all he wanted to do was eat them!!) and there were a lot of staff. One mentioned that the lunch service had been crazy busy so I'm guessing that's why there were so many. I'm just not sure our bill for 2 burgers, one chips & 2 sodas at £27 was great value for the quality of our meal.

    I've been here a few times now, hungover, quick lunch and pre-cinema! What I love about it every…read moretime is the music, loud rock music blaring which for me is awesome! Also the free peanuts! A great idea and tasty snack whilst you wait for your order! I also love the burger itself, made fresh in front of you with more topping choices than you can process all included in the price. I usually go for a small burger, don't think everyone realises it's the same size as the large but just has one patty instead of two! Perfect for me! Small things that annoy me, only ketchup as a dip option for chips (surely Mayo should be as standard now!?) they will however give you it if you ask! And not many drink options if you don't like soft drinks (I'm weird!), I would just die and go to heaven if they had milkshakes

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    Five Guys
    Five Guys
    Five Guys - American style interior

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    American style interior

    Dragon Way Restaurant

    Dragon Way Restaurant

    1.0(1 review)
    0.1 mi

    Even thinking about my "meal" at the Dragon Way restaurant (or Wawa Noodle Hut as it's now called)…read morein Portobello sends cold shivers up my spine. I do not exaggerate when I say it was possibly the worst meal I've ever had. There are so many things that made my experience at this restaurant terrible I'm not really sure where to start. The amusing thing is that the food was average; it was the customer service straight from the bowels of hell that sends this place spiraling into down the toilet bowl and into the sewers of restaurant infamy. I could spew forth my complaints about this place for a long time.... In a nutshell, my lad and I had purchased a deal voucher for this place (yes, the alarm bells are already ringing) for a ridiculously good price. Three courses and a glass of wine for £4.50 each. Bargain! We tried to book a table in advance of our journey out to Portobello, but despite its advertised opening times, the restaurant did not pick up the phone. Undeterred by this slight setback, we made a de-tour to the location on our visit in Porty and managed to grab someone from the kitchen. After a five minute conversation where both parties were confused, we agreed to come back at 5pm. Upon returning to the place around 5.3pm we were initially refused entry to eat off the deal voucher. The woman claimed that the place was fully booked on a Saturday and there was no way we could eat, and could we come back tomorrow? We explained that we'd made a journey across town epecially to come there and as the restaurant was currently totally empty, we asked if we could come back and eat at 6pm. After much humming and hawing and complaining that on Saturdays they were SO busy and we should have booked, the woman said we could eat before the restaurant opened "officially" at 6pm. We sat down (in the dark - she didn't turn on the lights for 5 minutes or so) and ordered food. We would have booked if the sodding place had picked up the phone according to their opening hours! However, the woman was not prepared to take this into account. Anyway. For the entire time we were there (appoximately an hour) not ONE table was taken up by other paying customers. The restaurant was like a ghost town and was completely devoid of customers. I suspect everyone else in Portobello knows how crap it is, and the place survives by preying on suckers like me, ha. The food was passable, but as the service was so shockingly bad I'd never recommend this place to my worst enemy. It wasn't even worth £4.50 per person for three courses. What an utter disgrace. I can't really articulate how badly we were treated by the staff at this establishment. It was just awful. The idea of the deal vouchers is to get repeat business and encourage word of mouth reviews. Everyone's been hearing about the shoddy customer service we received and now the internet knows too! So much for encouraging business. Yikes. There's a lot more I haven't included in this review. Suffice to say we were made to feel like complete burdens for the restaurant staff. Steer clear at all costs (even if it's only £4.50!).

    Keanes House - hotdogs - Updated May 2026

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