I broke my ten year Kohl's hiatus, enticed by the promise of home shopping convenience and a hefty…read more$25 in Kohl's cash earned from my online order. I should have known it would initiate a comedy of errors that would make me relearn the forgotten decade-old lesson.
One item from my online order didn't fit, so I decided to return it at the nearest store, which is in another county. I prepared myself for the trek by making a shopping list of jeans to try on, confirming on their website that all were in stock at the store (jeans are something you really need to try on, buying them blindly is a gamble).
All plans were thwarted when I entered the Silverdale store. It would be my last visit to any Kohl's; read on. The return went fine, other than their deducting $8 from the refund of the $35 item. I understood it was because I received Kohl's cash to spend, and that's fine. So let's go shopping!
I was unable to locate any of the items on my shopping list. Since I neglected to pack snacks and a compass, I asked for help. The lady from the register made an effort to look around, but said she didn't recognize any of the items, and they never stocked them. Bait & switch, eh? Strike one, Kohl's.
Determined to make the journey count, I searched for some jeans to try on. Leafing through a bizarre size distribution of XS to XL with squat in between, I found 3 whole pair that might remotely fit. But rut-roh, the fitting room was closed! After the predictable goose chase, I came in contact with Keeper of the Fitting Room, and kindly asked if I could enter her barricaded domain to try my 3 items. She said no. Really, no? I don't want to make another trip out here. She insisted, no, she was busy. Final word. Too busy with only one other customer in the store? How do they stay in business anyway? Strike two, Kohl's.
Not wanting to waste time fighting it, but not wanting to waste time coming back out either, I summoned my inner bluejean rebel and tried on those jeans right there on the ghost down they call a sales floor. Turns out nothing fit right anyway, so I saved myself another two hour round trip. Fed up with the store, I went home to find something random online so I wouldn't lose my $25 Kohl's cash.
Logging in, I found a cruel surprise - $12 Kohl's cash had vanished, along with my patience. In a last ditch effort, I found a $12 clearance tank top to spend my remaining consolation prize and be done with it. Then the free shipping coupon errored out, "try again later." Not in the mood to spend $8 shipping on sheer principal of getting my money's worth of random crap I don't need, I tapped out, down my original $25 coupon + $8 shorted on the refund. Yeah, I know, the house always wins. Strike three and Kohl's is out.
It's no wonder the store was deserted. Limited selection, employees on permanent coffee break and pitfall policies. Silverdale Kohl's would better serve the community as a big, stupid, empty monument to apathy, which it probably will be before long. Buh-bye.