My husband and I lost our first child at full term due to an umbilical cord accident. It was more…read moredevastating and life-altering than I can put into words. We delivered her after 16 hours of hard labor, knowing there would be no happy ending, and knowing that we were robbed of all the beauty and innocence of pregnancy and childbirth now and in the future if we were to have more children.
We got pregnant again quickly and while we were so grateful for the opportunity to continue to grow our family, we were scared to death and filled with a tremendous amount of mixed emotions, fears, and anxieties. We specifically considered a doula for our second child in order to acknowledge that our experience was so unique and as such we could perhaps benefit from as much additional emotional support as could be offered. I in particular was concerned that in Round 2, my husband and father, whom were both present from start to finish for the birth of my late daughter, could understandably have varied emotional reactions during the second childbirth experience and be torn between handling their own emotions and trying to be present and loyal to me. I didn't want them to have this potential conflict, so I felt a doula could serve as the buffer to allow all of us to know that my needs and baby's needs were indeed acknowledged and handled, without my husband or father having to carry the burden of this task being solely on their shoulders. Additionally, I tried to be proactive in acknowledging my own potential varied emotional responses in delivering another child within the same year and after such a traumatic experience, and I wanted to ensure that someone was present with a clearer mind to keep the baby's needs paramount above all else. I was committed to not underestimating my potential for completely freaking out, passing out, or running out of the delivery room mid-delivery on the way toward any sort of nervous breakdown.
Needless to say, with such a unique set of factors, while a doula might be helpful, we knew that it would take a person with a very special skill set to not be scared off by our tear-inducing experience, fully acknowledge the reasons for the various levels of fear and anxiety we were experiencing, not minimize our sense of helplessness, and do all this within the context of also just doing his/her job of birth coaching, etc. Basically, we were clear this person needed to somehow GET IT so we could feel comfortable, taken care of, validated, and empowered to get through this all again without assuming the worst. We found Christine, and we found EXACTLY what we needed.
She catered her process to our unique situation, so we knew we got individualized care and service. She was thorough, professional, patient, honest, knowledgeable, intuitive, and lovely.
My husband and father and I made it through pregnancy and childbirth two more times, with Christine as our doula, and therefore our kids made it out as hoped and planned, because of her. Our late daughter, Donnalee, has two beautiful baby brothers, Mansour and Reza, and to this day we sincerely and without reservation acknowledge Christine for their existence.
~Heather, Proud Mother of 3 (Donnalee, born/died 1/19/05; Mansour, born 12/27/05; Reza, born 7/3/08)