Dr. Bucholtz is a fabulous therapist, because she will tell it like it is. She holds people…read moreaccountable for their actions, as any good therapist should. I can imagine some parents (especially those who have issues to work out) don't like to be told they may have issues they need to work on, or that they may be contributing to the difficulties their child may be facing. Some parents expect a therapist to be more of a mechanic - a person they can drop their kid off with, get it "fixed", and then pick it up like so much dry cleaning. Judi doesn't work that way, precisely because she cares about the child.
This isn't to say she's not diplomatic. She is one of the most compassionate, caring people I know, which is why I continue to work with her. But I have also witnessed interruptions first hand - unstable individuals who insist they are more important than other patients Judi may be helping at the moment. This is, after all, Los Angeles. The sense of entitlement here is breathtaking - both in some adults and some of their offspring.
I certainly couldn't do what Dr. Bucholtz does, on an ongoing basis. How she keeps her cool, sees through the agitation or attitude in patients for what it really is (usually pain), and manages to calm them down, is remarkable. I have seen my share of therapists, and am well aware that they can vary greatly in quality and competence. But therapy saved my life years ago. I rely on the tools I learned over the years to keep me sane, and my children balanced.
Blaming the therapist because you or your child hasn't improved is like blaming your fitness trainer because you refuse to stick to a diet or exercise regimen. It just doesn't make sense. If you're not getting the results you expect, move on to another therapist (or trainer). Or, perhaps examine why, if the therapist is so horrible, you insist on sticking with the routine you say isn't helping. (For the record, in ten years of therapy, I never received a card from my therapist. Not once. I've chosen a therapist precisely because she's NOT my mom.)
Your fitness trainer can't force you to exercise or stop eating cake. That part is up to you. A therapist can't force you to confront you demons and change your behavior. That's up to you. He or she is there to guide, reassure, and offer an understanding based in pathology.
I am a great believer in the healing abilities of good therapy. I also believe a truly gifted therapist has to be capable of enormous compassion, patience, and wisdom. With some very abusive patients, it can be a thankless, tormenting, even frightening endeavor. Yet therapists like Dr. Bucholtz take it on daily, eager to guide the lost, confused souls to stability and calm. That's all any of us really want, isn't it? Insight? Understanding? Peace with ourselves?
No one can provide a quick fix. But at the end of the day, every day, if you're willing, Dr. Bucholtz has your back. She is on your side. And STILL, whether you like it or not, she'll tell it like it is. Deal with it, and she will help you, with truth.Tell me that isn't what you're looking for.