First of all, if my review gets removed, it's because Lewis/staff removed it. Note- almost all of the reviews (other than the ones Lewis MADE his employees/clients write, are negative- see filtered reviews). I was at Tender Loving Mercy for quite some time. I started as a client, then was "told" I was staff. During my stay here, I witnessed and experienced immoral behavior on a daily basis. The owner, Lewis McMahan, is unlike any person I have ever met. He is shady, scandalous, the biggest manipulator I have EVER come into contact with, sexist, inappropriate on so many levels, a cheat, an extremely verbally violent man and does NOT exercise the AA principles in his daily life whatsoever.. Everyone who is in "real recovery" knows that addiction is a very powerful thing. Many addicts substitute addictions when they attempt to free themselves from the bondage that alcohol & drugs bestow upon them. Lewis, a recovering heroin addict loves to gamble. Around the 1st of each month, he frantically takes the mentally ill clients from bank to bank to collect almost all of their SSI income. He then goes to the local casino and gambles it, which is no secret around the office of TLM. He then "makes" all clients who do NOT receive SSI, go across Oceanside Blvd., to the county welfare office, to sign up for a food stamp card. Sure, it's not illegal to sign up for state assistance in a time of hardship. However, Lewis and his upper staff "coach" the clients to assist them in filling out their paperwork, so that they are guaranteed and approved to get their $200/month food stamp card, which then goes straight into Lewis' wallet. Clients are "told" to say that they are "homeless," and that they are living in a "homeless shelter." I believe this to be morally wrong..It is also viewed by state law as "Welfare Fraud." See "California's Welfare & Institutions Code 10980-Californias Welfare & Fraud Law." http://www.shouselaw.com/welfare_fraud.html On a more serious and life-threatening matter, TLM is NOT a medical detox facility!! TLM facilities "medication management," which translates to individuals who have legally obtained a prescription from a medical doctor, may continue or start on a medication, which is locked up in a safe, and given to them as prescribed. At TLM, Lewis illegally detoxes individuals who are "kicking" drugs and/or alcohol, by using medications that he has obtained by past clients who have either left the facility, or have not taken their entire prescription, because the prescription either "disappears," or Lewis goes against the Doctor's orders and tells the individual that he/she does not NEED the medication any longer. Legally, no one is allowed to take someone else's prescription medication. Not only can it cause serious health concerns-even death, it is NOT advised by the medical community, and is considered illegal. Lewis has a plethora of narcotic, benzodiazapine, and other medications that he seizes from either detoxing clients, or that he recovers when a client checks into the facility. Next, I'd like to touch on the "counseling" aspect of this facility,or rather- the "lack of." Clients get to the Counseling center on Apple St.@ 8-8:30 am, either M-Th or M-F (as they alternate days off biweekly). The clients sit in a designated room for hours on end, as they wait for the chaotic, screaming match & sometimes violent, "upper staff meeting" to end. These meetings go on for hours..From my personal experience, myself and my peers would sit there from the time we arrived to approximately 10:00-10:15 when our counselor would then come in. After about 10-15 minutes, we would go on "break," and return to an unorganized and inexperienced counselor. Since this is a "dual-diagnosis" facility, I was often stuck listening to the caddy woman who didn't like their housemates or house manager for petty reasons. Instead of focusing on "real" issues that led to mine and others addiction, we were forced to sit there for our hour long (if we were lucky) only counseling session for the day. Throughout this time, Oceanside Police would frequent the center due to acts of violence- which was usually geared towards Lewis and his "right hand" man, June..Or, a client and Lewis, due to the clients frustrations of either being lied to, about important medical appointments- which were missed by the clients, because Lewis denied transportation because of the cost of gas. Oh yes, gas. This is often a problem amongst this facility. When you enter the program, you're told that you will be transported to preexisting appointments, court dates, etc.. However, when that day comes- you're either denied transportation, OR you're told that you need to pay for gas, which is usually $30+, even if the appt. is 10 min away. In regards to the living conditions,they are quite scary. The homes are mice and cockroach infested. Lewis does NOTHING to control this matter. I will have to continue this review, as I've exceeded almost 5K characters. read more

First off, I left on my own volition. In fact, Mr. McMahon held a "bull session" about my desire to leave with all of the men in the program there. It was at this session that he begged me to stay and got a head count of all the men that wanted me to stay. Everyone raised their hands. I was only there for a little under 5 months and worked as volunteer staff for around 3 of those months. As for free "treatment", If sitting in a room listening to the owner belittle other staff members is "treatment". Or if sitting in a room full of people staring at walls without a counselor supervision is "treatment"? Then yes, I did receive that for free. It's quite humorous that all of a sudden these reviews pop up at once. Knowing Lois, he probably held a meeting while his clients sat in a room for hours without a counselor and told all of his employees to write positive reviews. That's fine, I have over one dozen ex-clients of Tender Loving Mercy and TLM that are willing to write reviews and/or testify stating the truth. If I am lying sue me for libel (slander is verbal FYI). There definitely are some great people that work there I won't deny that. Diana, Yvonne, Steve, Jim are good people. June has his moments, but those moments are instigated by Mr. McMahon. Otherwise June is very laid back and also a good person.. Mr. McMahon does show kindness at times without a doubt. But, the chaos outweighs the tender, loving, mercy by far. I am just standing up for what is right. What I said was truthful and I get my review pulled for violating guidelines? How long did it take for you to pull that off? I'd rather break guidelines than laws.. Also, I do believe that an employee of a company like this is breaching confidentiality, by saying specifics about anyone's personal information. I mentioned specific paid employees and not clients. It also doesn't take a rocket scientist to look at the dates of Delilah's comment and cross-reference the date of mine and see that there is no correlation between them. I don't even know a Delilah. It is really sad that these people have to make up complete lies to try to manipulate the truth. So feel free to continue to try to defame my credibility. But, the truth will get out about this place. Do not send anyone here. That's it and that's all!!! read more

Urgent Alert to All Residents and Service Members in San Diego County: This announcement serves as a solemn warning about the operations of Tender Loving Mercy Inc. in Oceanside, California, particularly for those who have served our country with honor and those currently in service, including Camp Pendleton Marines, Veterans, Disabled Veterans, Retired Military Service Members, Gold Star Families, and concerned Civilians. On November 2nd, 2018, in a moment of critical medical distress, rather than being expedited to emergency medical care, I was taken advantage of by the owner/operator of Tender Loving Mercy. Under the guise of transportation to the VA Hospital in La Jolla, I was coerced into withdrawing $2,500 from my bank account at a local Wells Fargo, despite my urgent need for medical intervention. This detour for money, taken while I was in excruciating pain and in a compromised state, was not just unethical-it was cruel. The memory of that day is etched in my mind, as it was the last day I walked on both legs. By evening, I underwent an emergency amputation. The actions of this individual reveal a concerning lack of moral compass and a blatant disregard for the well-being of a person in their care. The prioritization of personal gain over the immediate medical needs of a vulnerable individual speaks volumes of the character and practices of the owner. Beyond this incident, the living conditions I endured were nothing short of deplorable. The house was rife with unsanitary conditions, including bed bugs and rodents, a breeding ground for the infection that ultimately led to my amputation. To those who find themselves in need of assistance, be wary of this establishment. If you are a recipient of any benefits such as Social Security, Disability, Veterans Compensation, or other federal aid, your vulnerability may be exploited. I am currently writing a book to shed light on these dark practices, dedicated to my experience with Tender Loving Mercy. It is my hope that this account will serve as a beacon of truth, illuminating the predatory behaviors that lurk behind the facade of care. Stay informed, stay vigilant, and may this serve as a dire warning to all who may cross paths with this establishment. read more

So I was checking on my mail with June, when I heard Lewis talking about Gabriel B's review. I decided to check it out, and sure enough, it is quite bad. Anyways, a little about me. I came to TLM in September of 2008, and have been here continuously since. That is 4 years and 7 months thus far. I was never a part of the TLM program half, I came in for the sober living. When I came here, I expected I would only be here for a month or two while I searched for an apartment or such. I fully expected this place to be like every rehab you hear about (chaos and full of crazies like Gabriel B said, or super strict military-status structure, etc). As the days went by however, I realized this place was basically like living in my parents house on a major holiday. Everyone here (with the occasional client exception) was pretty much nice and respectful, if not full on friendly. I ended up staying past my couple month intended stay without even realizing it. Granted, things haven't been as rosy peachy as they were back then. Lewis and June do argue at times, and there's more dual diagnosed (the so-called "psych cases") compared to "normal people". However, this program is by and far from "chaos". It's almost always about as calm as the family home on a major holiday. While I have never been in other rehabs, I can say this is most certainly not a bad place. Lewis will fight tooth and nail to help you, and June is always willing to do what he can within his capacity. There's plenty of help to be found from other clients as well, you're never far from a hand to help you. I rate 4 stars because while TLM is great, it can't breach my very strict guidelines for a full rating (it would take something really special to get me to rate anything 5 stars). read more

This place is a great step down program for people facing the disease of addiction and other mental health symptoms. They provide hot showers, clean linen, mattresses with covers, washers and dryers, meals for breakfast and dinner, rides to places, constructive groups, medicine management, and much more. In order to graduate one must have the desire to be abstinent, go to meetings, work the steps, and abide by the rules and guidelines. I have been here for nine months and my mindset toward using has changed drastically. Narcotics anonymous and alcoholics anonymous have been incorporated into my life now. If it wasn't for Lewis and Mona I'd be on the streets using, in jail, or in a hospital/rehabilitation center. I really owe it to Lewis. He advocated for me to get off conservatorship and it worked. Tender Loving Mercy has staff that impact the lives of so many. They build people up from rock bottom. Do not let yourself or your loved one take it for granted. I currently have a relapse prevention plan to prevent future use, chores I've been doing made me more clean, I have the guts to speak at an NA meetings now, and I have a group of people that support me in my recovery. Lewis and his team have the ambition to make responsible adults out of their clients. Where one can survive and thrive in the community. read more

i really dont know why all these ex participants are giving all these bad reviews when i was there everything was good and tender loving mercy is a good place to be when you want to stay clean and sober. I have been sober for 8 years now and i thank the director and all the staff for showing me a new way of life and introducing the 12 steps.Im really amazed by all the people who have been giving bad reviews due to the fact they were clients there at one time and was either discharged for misconduct or bad behaviors..seems like they have personal resentments or they are not practicing their 12 steps also it could be they are not sober.i was there when most of them were either removed from the program or just couldnt handle a simple program..It also amazes me for all the foul words they have posted when none of it is true and hopefully they can get some help at some program that would take their indigent case but i hope and pray that they find deep inside to practice patience and tolerance and stick to the priciples not the bad personalitys these ex non complient clients have.. read more

If you want to be scared for life in a hell-hole environment, this place is perfect for you. At Tender Loving Mercy, you will not only be verbally and physically abused by it's owner Lewis, you will get fed moldy food dogs shouldn't even have to eat, sexually harassed by his employees and get less than an hour of actual counseling. If this sounds like the rehab you are looking for, by all mean give them a call and sign your life away to the frutti tutti devil. I wish I had video taped the atrocities that took place there. You would not believe it. It would have been funny as hell to put on youtube but my god, if you knew this is what you paid for when you chose a rehab, you would be enraged. This "rehab" or "sober living" is more detrimental to your physical and mental health than shooting up street drugs, to put it mildly. The one good thing I took out of my time at TLM was "My life isn't so bad after all, I could work or live at this place for the rest of my life!" read more

I cannot say enough good things about Tender Loving Mercy! They really helped me out through a tough time. Lewis is a really good guy who cares about his people and will do anything to help whoever wants it. But I have to say, I remember this client David S. He was an out of control belligerent drunk who got drunk multiple times while in treatment (which obviously is not allowed), until he finally left for good to continue his out of control drinking and was not allowed back. He's just mad that he wasn't allowed to drink as if he was just staying in a hotel and not participating in a program. Total dirtbag, not a good guy at all! And on top of that, he always smelled like pi** and sh**!!! Ladies run from this guy!! And then he has the nerve to try and bad mouth Lewis, someone who was only trying to help him. At any given time there are about 70+ clients at TLM, many who stay long term to get the help they need. Don't let a few bad apples spoil the bunch! read more

Shame on these people! This place is a complete hell hole!!! Please look for better options for treatment! If you have been abused or recieved subpar care at this place please report the program to the Board of Behavioral Sciences. to Mental health Services, to https://www.ccapp.us or anyone who will listen !! From what I understand the program is not licensed and what accreditations they did have were pulled. I have heard allogations of sexual, physical, financial abuse happening here! the treatment they offer is bogus your better off going to your local AA chapter. Don't go here if your mandated to go to treatment the director will not allow to graduate the program you to keep you paying his ridiculous rates on plenty of sending you BACK TO JAIL. HE HAS DONE THIS BEFORE. If you think this happening to you or a family member please consult your lawyer! DON'T GO HERE!!! read more

As a success story sober for some years now I can say TLM is an important resource and a huge asset to the community. Lewis is doing God's work and fighting the good fight. I started my road of recovery at TLM and I thank God every day for that blessing. I've known Lewis for many years and can tell you he is one of a kind and a soldier of God helping those in need of getting on the right path, and TLM provides the structure and the stability to do so. That man is a saint and he's always on the clock Monday through Sunday I don't know how he does it all. Out of the thousand plus people that's been through there, I consider myself one of the lucky ones and I'm glad to call Lewis a friend. I'm glad he had the patience to put up with me and I would tell anyone who's new to be patient, trust the process and take it one day at a time. It works if you work it! read more

I CANNOT believe that anyone would say such ridiculous things about this marvelous facility! Of course, the person writing was kicked out because he got high and maybe that is why he is so angry. Before he was kicked out, he had lived here for FREE for 6 months and clearly he was not grateful for this generous gift. NO ONE should believe a single word of his absurd allegations! Maybe he is still getting high and so making no sense. If not, then I really feel sorry for him because he is clearly out of his mind. If even a small fraction of what he claimed were, then clearly this facility would not be licensed nor would enjoy the marvelous reputation that it enjoys and so richly deserves. Gabriel, you really should be ashamed of yourself! I was here during this person's stay and I can personally attest to the fact that his statements are untrue. read more

This place is the worst ever! No rehabilitation or recovery or any type of counseling or therapy is being done. Just a lot of bullying and using of the clients. It's so sad that I actually let/ made my son stay there. I should be put in jail for abuse. Not only is it horrible when my son walked away from the program because of all the violence there, they stalled every stitch of clothing that he had along with all his other things. Luis is a horrible man that lies about his life and bullies clients. The state need to look into this facility and close it down. It's just damaging to people. I wish there were a way to give it minus stars because I would. Like another review said ---run away from this place read more

Facts: my son witnessed inappropriate, sexual interactions. Fact: my son was threatened and pushed around by other residents. Fact: the residents have tv's in their room and little supervision. Fact: they are very hard to reach by phone and give little to no information on the program or the family members progress. Fact: Lewis is always in a hurry, barely gives the time of day. Fact: the office manager was extremely rude to us after I took my son out. Fact: my son did not get kicked out or misbehave we took him out. If a review is put up with anything negative about my son or myself it will be all lies. We were more than stellar in our interactions. read more

This is the worst program to be in they are abusive and they only care about the money. They take advantage of the mentally ill and brain wash them. I have PTSD now from them yelling at me and putting me down. Mona is very miserable and hates the clients and hates her job. She is only there for free food and housing.she has nowhere else to go. Lewis is a money hungry crook. Mona steals money from the clients and manipulative them into buying her stuff. This program is filthy and has roaches and bed bugs and they do nothing about it.They should be shut down it is inhumain and inethical. Please don't go there. read more

I have been at tlm for two months its not any were near that bad. The director Lewis has never shown me nothing but tough love that us as adicts need. He has never made any sexual advances or comments to me or other members. I have witness him spending his own money to feed and take care of every client on an almost daily basis. I would not be still here if any of this was taking place. There is no action taken that is not warented any action is supervised by more than one staff member at alltimes so as to be sure nothing dose happen. Mike taverna read more

very great sober living an treatment facility was reunited with my kids within 6months been sober for 1year very great food an staff. never judge you for who you are an always show you 100% confidence on how to stay clean an sober ... executive director mr timothy lewis mcmahan who has 35 years clean an sober very diligent understanding man an always give good advice on what its like to live clean an sober.... if you or a family member or friend have a drug an alcohol addiction look into this facility read more

I am a 24 year old transgender woman who came here with nothing and legal matters. Since being here I have gain more than need and been able to work on myself and be in compliance with probation. The executive director is very patient and had been there for me 24/7 whenever I need him. It's a chilled and lated back environment.its helped me with my gender specific issues and how to more comfortable about my sexuality. Plus we have cute dog as a companion read more

Ya I went here alright. Messed me up more than helped. No one will believe you when u say what happens there. Staff they jus fight n yell all day bout personal bisnuss an we just sit and wait. Most of us are stuck there by court so we can't says nothing. Tell them how much your ssi check is n they say the program costs that much. If you lucky they leave you twenty bucks. This place is scary man. Run read more

This business is a SHAME!. PLEASE look at all your options before going here. May GOD help these poor men at this place and please parents be very careful choosing this place. It really breaks my heart what goes on there and how it's run. And management or board don't even try and trash me on here. read more