Love letter alert!
Dear Alacer Corp., makers of Emergen-C, bearers of fire and the wheel and Cop Rocks,
OK I lied about the last three things, but in my mind, you make Emergen-C and therefore, you make life worth living. My body craves your 1,000 miligrams of Vitamin C in powder form. My nose itches to be near you so it can stop resembling a leaky faucet. My throat breathes every breath feebly until it can warm itself next to you. My sleeves beg for your presence so their wearer can quit using them like Kleenex. I would snort Emergen-C if I could, but I won't because I'm not a moron. I'd give a smooch and a hug to everyone involved on your production team, but I don't want them to catch my cold.
XOXO,
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