How many times/ways does a woman have to ask someone to stop before they'll stop?…read more
The owner has chosen to shame the woman's reaction to being touched aggressively/non-Pilates, instead of choosing to rectify the situation entirely with humility. The owner has chosen to shame my fiance's in proportion response to me being aggressed, instead of reprimanding the actual aggressor (her employee).
I've been going to Pilates reformer classes since I was 13 (I'm now 34) and have NEVER had this experience.
I showed up for the empty class 2 minutes late. Firstly, before class began, I informed the owner and instructor about my existing sore ankles after a recent fall (in writing in their intake forms as well as verbally). No broken bones, no bruising, just sore. A normal, professionally run class would not have affected my ankles poorly. The abnormal, unprofessional class I received did affect my ankles poorly.
The instructor, Vil, secondly did not lead me through a foot and ankle warm up as is traditional to Pilates reformer. He STARTED me in with jump board changements, which is a maniacal decision for any reformer class setting. That should have been my cue to leave.
Class began, and I then had to ask Vil to repeatedly avoid the sore ankle areas when giving his style of "adjustments and corrections" that were continuous, unwarranted, too invasive for a 1st class meeting, and I was the only non-staff taking part in the class- receiving all of the brunt of his "style" of corrections. I believe Vil chose to take out some "empty studio summertime boredom" on my body and did not stop twisting and forcing placements on my body the whole time. I nervously went along with as much as I could stand until it became too painful and uncomfortable.
The non-stop adjustments I received were given without consistent consent language, and were given with an extremely heavy hand. It was painful, over the top, and abrasive to say the least- Causing my nervous system to go into fight/flight mode. Not AT ALL Pilates etiquette. I HAVE NEVER BEEN TOUCHED SO AGGRESSIVELY IN PILATES EVER. It is so rare when I've been touched in reformer classes at all. The instructor typically uses words to describe body placements, or an extremely soft hand with over the top consent language when physically adjusting.
I repeatedly asked him to stop touching my ankles once he started in on them. I first brought it to his attention by saying "please mind my ankles", after he had grabbed and adjusted them into a position he could have described with words instead of touching me. Moments later he readjusted my ankles with excessive force again and I said "hey, please remember, my ankles". The studio owner then acknowledged my concern with a wince and an apology, and we continued on with the class. He did it again with the same force and I said "if you touch me like that one more time, we're going to have a problem". He said sorry, then moments later DID IT AGAIN and abrasively grabbed my ankles and twisted them into a position. I flew off of the reformer and backed away, horrified by the experience and confused at how he could not and would not hear my requests, then demands to stop hurting my ankles.
He used non-Pilates etiquette from start to finish. Throughout the class, he also made degrading and insulting remarks about my body including remarks about "being too young to have a double chin", "not looking like a ballerina anymore", and was overall abrasive in his tone with me making comments like that of a wanna-be ballet director talking down to a dancer- not a Pilates instructor coaching a paying customer through a normal class.
The instructor, upon hearing of my ballet background, chose to run the almost private class in the "old school" way that the owner and instructor later stated was totally OK to do despite me voicing clear discomfort/concern, while being alone in the studio with them. Very uncomfortable.
The owner witnessed and acknowledged the instructor's conduct, yet instead of taking my concerns seriously, attempted to offer me complimentary sessions, minimized the seriousness of what had occurred, and dismissed my concerns about the instructor's behavior and lack of professionalism. Both stated that the instructor is just "old school" and there was nothing wrong with that.
Well, I'm a "new school" 34 year old psychotherapist who doesn't tolerate disrespect, comments about bodies, aggressive touching, and consent being ignored while being hurt in a class I'm paying for. No one should leave a class feeling humiliated, dismissed, and unsafe. The way this situation was handled was deeply concerning, and I have reported the incident. The owner doubled down on her support of the instructor's egregious conduct: it is clear she is perfectly OK with instructors at her studio being forceful, abrasive, and not using Pilates etiquette.
Based on my experience, I cannot recommend this business to anyone.