Cafe Van Kleef, I am into you. Not only are your adornments kitschy and homey, but your drinks are strong, and the people are friendly. The music is also fantastic. Their signature drink is their play on the Greyhound, which comes with fresh grapefruit juice and a grapefruit wedge. You can't even taste the vodka in this delicious concoction, which also means you have to be careful because it'll sneak up on you super quickly. It's a $10 minimum for cards, which is easy because one drink will already set you back that much, but this is a great place to have a couple before you head over to the Fox. Definitely a more eclectic bar in the area, but highly appreciated when you're surrounded by pricier venues. read more

Come for the greyhounds and all the stuff on the walls. Pretty loud and live music sometimes. Small sitting areas, and very busy on weekends My friend met a guy named Frank here on her first week in California. A great story came out of it, I hope every time lives up to the first tine we visited. read more

Service can be a bit less than friendly but a cool queer friendly place with a great atmosphere and delicious delicious fresh greyhounds.

Weird, bizarre little bar yet so very wonderful. It's a tiny bar in the shape of a rectangle with a stage and restrooms in the back of the room. Needless to say, you really should get the greyhounds. Their greyhounds are the best with a splash of fresh grapefruit juice and a fat wedge to top it off!! There is literally someone squeezing fresh grapefruit juice around the clock. They have live performers on the weekends and they always manage to get really great musicians to come by. It is a small bar that's pretty popular so they do reach capacity sometimes and you could get turned away at the door. P.S. I found out on my last visit that you can order a large size of the greyhound. I think they just make two of those to fit in a pint size cup. Genius! read more

My favorite spot to go - while it is small, the environment is eclectic and groovy. I like coming here on a Tuesday night and relaxing with the house Greyhound and some casual conversation or a piece of poetry that I've been stuck on. The vibe is chill, the only time it isn't great is on the weekends when there are way too many people crammed in all trying to get drinks. The staff is pretty friendly, willing to chat if they have a second to stop! read more

Such a fun dive bar and a great go to for an easy night out! Live music and good atmosphere, and their palomas are some of the best I've had. Always happy to stop by here and can't wait to be back! read more

This is one of the best places in Oakland. Peter (the late owner) had a vision, and after his passing the staff have kept it going. Try the Greyhound. Seriously. Just order one. read more

This is one of the coolest gothic bars in Oakland! The decor is collective and you can spend hours just looking around at all the random stuff on the walls. The Christmas lighting just makes the place so much fun! This bar is known for greyhounds which are delicious and refreshing! Definitely stop by this place and check it out at least for one drink. You won't regret it! It is certainly unique. read more

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Great location, on Telegraph. It will be your first or last bar when you hit downtown with your friends. Greyhounds are crazy good here! Try one! read more

Super fun little dive. Great spot for a drink before if you're going to a show at The Fox Theater. They're known for their Greyhounds which you can get with the alcohol of your choice. They're good, just be careful, they're like $16 each so 4 drinks and you're out like $70 read more

The street name honors the founder, and with good reason. These people had faith in Oakland that is now being justified in spades. Don't miss it. read more

This is a cool little jazz club with a very diverse crowd. I saw young professionals with jackets and ties, an old long hair with a long biker beard, hipsters, an older guy with a fedora and a goatee, and a cougar with her cub. If you ever get tired of people watching there is plenty of things to get your interest; seriously the person that decorated this place went over the top down the valley and over the next top. When I was there they asked for $5 to get in and being a cheap bastard I didn't like that but I assume it was going to the band. Speaking of the band They had a ninety year old sax player that had to nap between solos. He played too many dissonant notes for my taste but it being jazz I never know if it's on purpose. Their specialty seems to be greyhounds made with fresh squeezed ruby red grapefruit juice. The bartender told me they only have Moose Drool on tap even though I saw six different tap handles. read more

Hi how are ya can I order a.....whoah is that a Jackalope? Sorry I got distracted....can I get a Double shot of Jameso...is that a figurine of the RCA dog? Ok my bad can I get a Double shot of Jameson - spla.....eww is that a wild boar head?? Ok seriously this time! I'll get a.......oh whe......ma'am?.......where'd she go? *some service they got here* (bartender comes back) Hi! I'll take a Double shot of Jameson- splash of water and whoah is that a naked lookin geisha playing a trumpet! (my friend Keegan interrupts) AND A GREYHOUND, please. (bartender smiles and nods to my friend as if bonded by my annoying presence) Is that a buddha smoking a joint? Is that a wolf's head? Oh wait, it's a fox. Is that Jimi Hendrix next to that pirate ship? Way too much shit goin on here. It's like an episode of Hoarders......haha, right? (Keegan is ignoring me) Do you think they sell this stuff? I ask him. *regulars look at me in horror* Guess not. (((well shit it looks like a g'dam garage sale up in here, I whisper to him))) Keegan: It's supposed to *sneeze* Bless you. Keegan: Thanks *sneeze* look like *sneeze* Bless you. Bless you. Keegan: This. It's SUPPOSED to look like *sneeze* this. Bless you. Keegan: Thanks. It's eclecti-haaaaaaa-chooo! Bless you. Keegan: Fuck! Thanks. It's an eclectic collection. I heard its from homeboys travels or something. It's kitschy, you mean. Keegan: Yes! That's exactly *sneeze* *sneeze* *sneeze* That's it. I'm outta here. *sneeze* Fuck! Geez get it together wouldja? You're embarrassing me Keegan: (gives me a stern look) I'm gonna get some air. BRB. ...10 minutes later... Feel better? Keegan: Much. *sneeze* Orrrr not. Bless you. Keegan: (clearly disgruntled) Thanks. I don't think we should hang out anymore. I'm obviously allergic to you. *sneeze* See? *sneeze* Pssh. It's probably all the dust from the kitschy. Keegan: Yeah no joke. Is your drink good though? Supposed to be what they're known for. The Greyhound. *blows nose* Yeah its grapefruity. But stiff. Wanna taste? Keegan: no *sneeze* thanks. Goddddddddd now I'M the annoying one here! Hey! Keegan: Let's get outta here. I'm dying. (grabs my hand..starts to weave me thru the crowd) ....but I haven't seen everything yet! Like that there - is that a mermaid?! And is that a pineapple, or an urn? Is that a dude's schlong??? Oh wait eww. That's real. (holds on to Keegan's hand tighter) Gross, walk faster! *overheard while weaving our way out* Girl: What's with all the junk. It's like an episode of Hoarders in here. Oh my god is that a Wild Boar? Me: It's from the owner's TRAVELS, it's not junk. Psshh. Rude. Girl: Oh is it? I'm sorry I didn't.... Me: Hahahahaha! I'm kidding I felt the same way. Points down to her waist - Oh, you might wanna watch out for the schlo- Girl: The what? *poke* Oh EWW!!! Me: waves - Bye! Keegan: *sneeze* read more

Known for their greyhounds which tastes so refreshingly good! I love coming here for the atmosphere and just looking at all of their statues and knickknacks. The bartenders are friendly. read more

I thought drinks like this were only true in fairy tales Meant for someone else but not for me. Weak drinks out to get me That's the way it seemed. Disappointment haunted all my dreams. Then I saw this drink, now I'm a believer Fresh squeezed grapefruit Cleared the doubt in my mind. I'm in love, oooooooh and I'm a believer! I couldn't leave it if I tried. Wow! The other reviews say it's so, but holy damn, the Greyhounds here are redonkulous! I have never had anything so fresh, so tasty and so simple and amazing. Ruby red grapefruits and vodka on the heavy pour equals sheer and utter happy place! And as for the place itself. Picture your grandma. Only, picture her as the hippest little pack rat around. Then imagine she passes away and instead of money, she leaves you a liquor license and says have at it. This bar would be that crazy, eclectic incarnation. If you live in the East Bay or even in the city, spend the $2.80 it takes to ride the BART and get your ass over here. It is seriously one of the greatest little bars I've been to in a long time! read more

I came. I saw. I had The Greyhound. I had The Greyhound eight more times. I'm in love. Before The Kleef, I was completely against The Greyhound, because of it's bitter taste on my tongue. But, a couple nights ago with a friend, I came here to try their spin on it. I needed to know why people kept talking about it so damn much. NOW I KNOW WHY. There truly is a difference between the canned grapefruit juice most bars use and the fresh squeezed stuff that Kleef slings. It seriously is that good. So good that I came back the next night...and stayed till 2am...and was late to work the next day. Oh and it's only $7. So...go already. read more

Biochemistry lesson: When blood volume falls, kidneys produces the enzyme renin, converting angiotensinogen to angiotensin I to angiotensin II to secrete andosterone from the adrenal cortex. This increases Na+ reabsorption which then increase in H2O absorption. Recite this next time you are waiting for the one and only restroom here. Stars for the freshly made Greyhound and 1/6 slice of grapefruit that comes with it! Just don't take pillz with that. Might have adverse effect. read more

I give props to the VK for being a venue classy enough for Karen N.'s FABULOUS Cleavage Night breast cancer fundraiser (Yay, Karen!), while having an atmosphere laid back enough for Adrienne G. to be able to hump my leg upon meeting me without anyone batting an eyelash (Yay, Adrienne!). Delicious, fresh, fruity drinks. Not too Tsweet. Just like Tsada. Also, that there's the cleanest damn bathroom I've ever seen in a bar. And roomy enough for me to comfortably self-administer a sponge bath after Adrienne mauled me with a hunk of boobie cake. Mmm...boobie cake. read more

Somewhere between El Paso and Tijuana, there's a bar that's wall to wall covered with relics from Dusty's Vietnam collection. All the collectibles from the women he married and left behind, all the taxidermy from whiskey drenched nights in the woods, the UFO sighting paraphernalia from his days as a disillusioned American. Somewhere in Oakland, that's a bar that's just like this. A Rip Van Winkle look-a-like keeps his ear tuned to the sound projecting from the stage. A band with a vampire vixen a la Tia Carrere, emits a sound akin to Gogol Bordello swapping spit with Rammstein. Unsettling but strangely captivating. A foxy bartender pours me another and another and another while a nice little lady comes over to take my order for fried catfish. Can you think of any other bar that even compares? Didn't think so. read more

It's all about maximalism at Van Kleef. This place is filled, and I mean filled, with interesting decor. Every single square inch in here is so strange and beautiful and riveting, you will find yourself completely engrossed. Wallflowers, rejoice! You can preoccupy yourself with staring at the walls and bar decor and never have to say a word to anyone. As long as you don't start talking to the stuffed animals, you're good. If the heady interiors don't get your head swimming, the Greyhound will. Vodka, fresh grapefruit juice, served with a grapefruit wedge -- this drink is so delicious, it's dangerous. I had already cut myself off, but then I heard a bell ring, and next thing I knew, someone had bought the entire bar a round of drinks. (Best bar patron ever! I hope I run into you again!) From the eccentric objets d'art to the strong libations, Van Kleef gives you an intoxicating evening to remember. read more

Let's pretend that my New Year's resolution was to avoid going into San Francisco for wild, music & booze filled weekends, and instead, to find some epic spots in the East Bay that could get the job done with just as much debaucherous pizzazz. Enter Cafe Van Kleef. Resolution kept. This place is almost indescribable, but I'll try. It is cluttered from floor to ceiling, like an antique store that's never sold a thing. There is taxidermy decor, twinkle lights, and carafes of pulpy grapefruit + vodka. There's a small stage towards the back where you can gaze up, glazey-eyed, at whatever unexpectedly cool band is jamming. People dance, people sit, some are kooky and all are content. After visit #1, I'm pretty in love with this place. $10 cover may seem steep for Oak-town, but there's nowhere quite like Van Kleef (and if there is, please do tell!) read more

I've been coming to Van Kleef's for a long time and I've always had a good time, but things have seriously changed since the owner passed and not surprisingly for the better. The service wasn't anything to write home about - I'll give them the benefit of the doubt, it was a busy 1st Friday - but it was that rude prick of a bouncer that left a bad taste in my mouth. I walked outside to take a phone call around 1:15am, and when I walked back in two minutes later, the door guy tells me it's last call. I respond with, "cool, I'm just going to close out my tab". He then yells at me to "come back here!!", as if walking into a bar that's just announced last call is illegal or forbidden. I turn around and he proceeds to berate me on how it's last call and that I need to listen to him and blah blah blah. I responded, very calmly, I heard him and that I was just going in to close out my tab and leave. He fires back with "then next time, say that". Ok buddy, next time get your hearing checked and your blood pressure checked. Seriously, get over yourself. I could care less about your stupid freshly squeezed greyhounds if your door guy is going to be rude before I even walk through the door, to pay, no less. Peace out, Van Kleef. read more

Wow, after a second trip to my new favorite bar in the entire Bay Area (and maybe even Northern California as a whole!), I'm still just as in lust as the first time I saw little ol' Van Kleef from across the quad squeezing fresh grapefruit juice into a decanter and towing along some of the country's finest crooners atop their massively steep stage in the process. This time around, there was no nightmare-inducing black metal from the outer reaches of Europe, but a local cover band doing Motown staples from the likes of the Jackson 5 and the Temptations. Boy, did they have flavor! Later in the night, I even got to meet the one-and-only Van Kleef himself! (Actually, it's just an old guy with a long white pony tail who does A/V for the bands... but in my imagination, he is the namesake of the operation). Please don't crush my spirit by telling me I'm wrong.... read more

Verily, The Best Bar In The Universe. Fresh citrusage is squeezed before your eyes by a vivacious, Irony Mulletted booze goddess, to become the secondary ingredients of Greyhounds, Screwdrivers and Gimlets more panty-melting than the concoctions of all SF venues put together. All surfaces of the interior are covered with... everything. One foot into this odd, elegant venue transforms all men into heroes, all women into fragrant, nectar-dripping blossoms. The most tied of tongues becomes Tom Robbinsesque. Broken hearts are defibrillated, fallen soufflees are resurrected. This altar to alcohol is a wormhole from extremely sub-fabulous downtown O'land to the Yellow Brick Road. The Owner, who puts the Von Kleef in the Cafe, has enough energy to power a city. Envision him rawking an off-kilter tophat, a fiery hoop in one hand, through which tigers and mermaids alternately leap. In his other, he holds aloft the Chalice of All Good Booze. Cherubim and fat, happy baby devils play rounds of poker on his shoulders. From his pocket peeks the ace of spades, from his hatband the Knight of Cups. Having escaped a 7 year Oakland-dwelling purgatory less than two years ago, I have been, until last night, loathe to set foot back in that burg. CVK has me giddily plotting the next trip there. read more

Can you be: a. Eclectic, b. Bizarre, and c. Sexy all at the same time? The answer is "yes", if you are Cafe Van Kleef's. Oh, and by the way. There's a gorgeous burlesque dance troop (Hot Pink Feathers) performing in this venue. If that didn't give you half of a chub, then you are dead inside. Serious. I nearly slid out of my chair when I heard this tid-bit. Boner-rific. And you are wondering why I chose this venue for "Cleavage Night"? Wonder no more, bitches. Be there, or be talked about. read more

(Preface: Cleavage Night! ) When one participates just exclusively online with a review community called Yelp, someone like me ponders my favorite reviewers' pictures and reviews and tries to compile an amalgam of what I think they are like in real life. However, until you meet these people in real life, you can't creatively absorb what a true caricature of the person might reveal. Karen N. drew me in right away to her event since the cause is so, well most of us know that words cannot really express just how devastating cancer can really be. Funding for researching "a cure" is essential. Karen and Aubrey deserve a big boob flash from everyone on their fund-raising efforts. The other factor that made attending the Von Cleavage Night was getting the chance to meet some of my favorite Yelpers. I knew I would meet some great people with a lot of character! Had I not met them, I would not have known the real truth! My caricatures would have been all off on some counts. While I knew that Karen's spot-on self-assessed caricature was: http://advancesculptor.tripod.com/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpictures/.pond/128_2885.jpg.w300h400.jpg I had no idea that Tsada was going to be: http://www.wallpaperbase.com/wallpapers/cartoons/futurama/futurama_18.jpg And while, I was pretty certain that Aimee was going to be way cool like: http://www.onlineghibli.com/spirited_away/article-pics/sw-us-poster.jpg I had no idea that the fabulous Ms. Jessica P. and Joe B. would be so much like: http://www.umkk.co.jp/brands/images/nancy.gif And, no one ever told me that stunning Gracie B. had such an aura: http://www.hawaiipictures.com/pictures/hula_2.html Or that Kristen S. was going to be even funnier and far more gorgeous then: http://i3.iofferphoto.com/img/item/215/341/57/130-335~Lucille-Ball-Posters_18.jpg But really, the biggest surprise to me, was that Adrienne G. is really exactly like: http://gallopingnelly.files.wordpress.com/2007/01/dorothy.jpg Then again, the cocktails were way too strong for this old quacker: http://www.frunkasduck.com/images/drunk-duck.png I could be wrong. It sure was fun. Only docked a star since it was so cramped! But us gals and our curvaceous twins probably contributed to that enormously! read more

I don't know what it is, but I'm feeling pretty homesick today. You might try to remind me that I was born and raised in LA, but I consider the East Bay my true home. Van Cleef's smells like grapefruit. If you look behind the bar, you'll see crates of fresh grapefruit and when you order a Greyhound you will notice all the wonderful fresh tart grapfruity-ness in your drink. This is the only place I drink Greyhounds. The decor is super weird/tacky and fun. This place looks like the inside of your crazy aunt's closet. Drink a few Greyhounds, enjoy the strange digs and embrace your eclectic side. read more

Why does my immature side always wanna call this place 'Cafe van Queef'? Ah, well, this is quickly becoming one of my favorite bars. I had to knock it down one star because of the cover they'll charge when a band is playing, but they need to make a living too. This is the best bar to get drunk in because there's so much to look at while in that state. It's like a huge rummage sale exploded in the interior - ceilings, countertops, walls. Bartenders are friendly, and they serve hot dogs/chili dogs just in case you need something to soak up all that alcohol. read more

Greyhounds! Raise the woof! Nah nah nah. We came in here one night and time just stopped. The globe ceased to turn. The moon froze in the sky. We danced all night to the rhythm of all of our lives and to a band whose name none of us know. This place is magical. It brings out the best in the bay area. No haters. Cafe Van Kleef has my vote for president! read more

This is where all things gaudy, eventually come to rest. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Including me... read more

Walking into Van Kleef"s for the first time a few months back as a guest of a Guest at a DYL event I remember thinking that the place looked like a movie set decorator had retired, opened Van Kleef's, done a hit of LSD and, while under the influence of that mind altering drug, decided to take the set decorations for EVERY film he'd ever worked on and use every single one of them to fill every inch of open space inside the bar. The end result of the animal heads, lava lamps, naked arm/head less bodies, and so on? FABULOUS! I can and have spent hours trying to take it all in. My favorite is this strange painting(?) depiting @ ten people who almost seem to be an audience to what is going on in the bar. Trust me, their eyes do follow you every where!! Honestly I hate Greyhounds. Except when I am here. Greyhounds are their specialty and they do them right. With fresh grapefruit juice and even a large slice of grapefruit garnish, I've got to have one or two or five of them every time I come in. Oh and at least one of those yummy tequila and coconut juice drinks I love so much but can never remember the name of??? Possibly because it's usually my 4th or 5th drink of the night. But a "Hey can I get one of those super yummy tequila and coconut drinks ya'll make?" works every time. Just remember (to quote a Yelp event sign I saw at the Art & Funk Social) "Tipping Is Cute!" Cafe Van Kleef's is one of my top picks. Great ambiance. Consistently the friendliest bartenders in Oakland. And a very mixed crowd, free of the too hip, too thug, or too stuck up extremes to dampen the mood. read more

This is an Oakland institution. Friendly staff, eclectic interior and the best greyhound you'll ever have!

This is the bar to go to before you go see a show at the Fox Theater down the street. You will pass by some of the hip bars on the way but pass that shit by 'cuz they're expensive and the clientele can be Hipster McSnootypants. Cafe Van Kleef is a cluttered, dark bar that comes across as an eclectic mix of all things kitsch and voodoo . . . maybe it's santuria. I don't get mixed up in that magik stuff, grandmother told me not to. So, the drinks are fine even though the glasses are inconsistent, an old fashioned glass for the first drink and then a pint glass for the second. The people who drink here are a good mix of random folks you probably don't want too much to do with and some people who feel like soul mates. read more

One of the most eclectic Bars in the Bay Area! Famous for there Greyhounds! If you are lucky to grab a seat at the bar it could really change this from 4 to 5 stars. At any night you could find a cool DJ spinning or a band playing. I just warn you if you are sensitive to having too much stimuli this may not be the place for you. If you are on a bad trip stay far far away. But if you are feeling groovy or want to feel groovy, get your groove on at Cafe Van Kleef! Part of the D. Anderson Crawl. read more

Came here last night after a great show at the Fox. There was a group of four of us - me and three friends from out of town. I was excited to share the Van Kleef grayhound deliciousness with them. We walked up to the bouncer just as another, larger group came from the opposite direction. The bouncer told me that there was a second bouncer that could check our IDs closer to the door, on the patio, so that he could check the other group's. Just then, this second bouncer came out to the front. We were standing there with our IDs out for him. He walked up and shook his head and said, "Only 2 more people can come in. We're at capacity." I look at my friends and look back at him. "We have four people. Can some of us hang on the patio?" (There was plenty of space on the patio) He responds and tells us, that the other group getting their IDs checked is coming in and that we can't (there was 6 in the other group). Then, he says, that they showed up first. I politely tell him that we showed up first, at which he point he gets in my face and yells, "My man in front decides who matters and doesn't matter. You can't come in! You don't matter!" Wow. Embarrassed, I took my friends to Dogwood where we enjoyed the rest of the night. I won't be back to Cafe Von Kleef. read more

I came here with my girlfriend. I went inside. As I walked in, I noticed my girlfriend wasn't behind me. I walked back and she said she couldn't go in so we left. She told me that the guy asked for her ID. She showed it to him. He then said "Bag". She asked, "Bag?". He then demanded in a slow, loud, patronizing tone, "Open. Your. Bag!" He then checked it and said, "You have to leave your bag here. I know your money is in there but the bag can't go in"..... ????...... The only things in the bag were a scarf and wallet. Which apparently are highly dangerous to have in a bar in downtown Oakland. And when I walked in I DEF saw people with bags. Generally when you want to make money at a business you do two things; treat the customer with respect and let them bring in their means of payment. I don't understand why any bar establishment wouldn't wanna make money. I was excited to try this place, my friends talked highly of it. But the guy at the door made my girlfriend feel like a criminal and her feelings were quite hurt, which doesn't fly with me. I don't quite get why the guy was so rude. Her ID is from Mexico and she felt she was being criminalized. Oh well, I ended up going to another bar down the street; Wood. read more

Every strait guy knows the feeling. To come up to a beautiful woman w/ your hat in your hand, talk all night, and NOT get those prized digits. Ouch. But I promise not to blame the bar for that one night I felt the sting of defeat knock the wind from my sails. The "No, you can't have my number." that rang in my ears; deafening me. The feeling of my throat slam shut like a steel trap as I floundered to "play it off". Me, bitter? Never. It's just a great opening for a review. The place is decorated in that quaint "lots of junk" on the walls way. (+1) There is an entry way for smokers to smoke and sit. (+1) They don't serve food, but plenty of good eats in the surrounding neighborhood which can be brought in. (+1) They accept plastic (always a favorite of mine). (+1) Live music on Fridays. (+1) Stiff drinks. (+1) Plenty of seating. Overall a great night; plenty of friends and new places to eat/drink in the Uptown district of Oakland. Hold on.....as there is a max of 5 stars per rating, I guess I can deduct one star for the aforementioned train-wreck ;P. Alas the night air was cold and refreshing as I stepped out w/ my head held high and a faint smile on my lips. Luckily dignity isn't as fragile as an ego. read more

This is where i goes and gets my drank on'...i've probably consumed more alcohol here than i have anywhere else in the Bay...combined....They also 'sponsor' my softball team, so after each game, we come here to celebrate our wins...yes, WINS, because we, as a team, kick much ass. The bartenders and Peter (the owner) are always gracious to us, and make us feel like VIP...which we are ;-) I also see them treat everyone else like a VIP, which - although very cool in the days of uber-pretentious bartenders and cocktail servers - makes me kind of jealous....i don't want to share the attention...but i guess it's good for business. I was told i should try their famous "Greyhound", but i'm too gangsta' for that, so i stick to Whiskey straight up, beer and other hard liquor... If you want to see, feel, smell and listen to "Oakland", you need to come check this place out - from the decor, which is straigh out of a crazy aunt's attic, to the patrons, who range from hipsters, yuppies, hippies, pseudo-hippies, yippies, the "tamale man" and...me....you'll feel like part of the tapestry that makes Oakland such a beautiful city to live in. read more

I swear I really am from Indiana. So I really wouldn't know anything about any of the following: - really low cut dresses and tops on many of the GORGEOUS ladies of yelp - greyhounds that are made with fresh grapefruit juice and garnished with a chunk of grapefruit - that the lite-up naked lady on the bar responds to touch - Adrienne G. snuggling into my cleavage - being given a "save these" tee by a random stranger (ok, maybe not too random. Maybe we talked for a while. He might have my number) I do, however, know that all this debauchery was for a great cause (finding a cure and making sure that women have access services) and that CVK is a cool little place filled with lots and lots and lots of tchotchkes. It's almost more claustrophobia inducing than the Alley. And the bartenders are great, once you catch them. Yes, it is kinda hidden...but that makes it all the more better for doing things that no one from Indiana should. read more

Warm, soft, bouncy kudos to Karen N, who organized Cleavage Night here, in SUPPORT of healthy breasts! I cheerfully wrote a check for $200 (A C-note for each C-cup she lost!) in honor of my Mother-In-Law, a breast cancer survivor, who got her diagnosis and had a bilateral radical mastectomy 2 years ago. This place has a wonderful patina to it - the walls are high and adorned with art and ecclectica - I could just sit and contemplate the decor, never mind the people watching! I got a warm, gracious welcome (and a sippy-sip of The VanKleevage - official drink of Cleavage Night) from the proprietor [and resident artist] Peter Van Kleef. The bar staff are lovely, attentive and attitude free; a trifecta as far as service goes, and sang along with the Motown classics and the jazz ensemble who kept the energy level up-up-up. Note to self: definitely come back to check out the burlesque troupe! I specifically asked for "the absolutely weakest apple martini you can possibly make" - and the drink I got still knocked me on my ass. So, for all of you functional alcoholics, belly up to the bar, check out the art, the patrons, the performers...! Such a decadent confluence of: fun, sexiness, creativity, jazz and libations! There's almost a... 'speakeasy' feel to this place... it's kind of tucked away on a rather unassuming block of Telegraph... but so close and convenient to everything. So the next time you're in the mood for a cocktail, head over to Cafe Van Kleef. Oh, and while you're nursing your Vodka Collins, make a list of all the important women in your life: mothers, sisters, daughters, lovers, neighbors... And then donate a dollar (or more) for each healthy breast that they posses. It's good karma! read more