I served under Pastor Justin for approximately 16 years, first at Grace Bible Church in Fair Oaks…read moreand later at Redeemer Bible Church. Because of the length of time I spent there, I believe I have a meaningful perspective on my experience with the church's leadership.
Throughout those years, I repeatedly experienced Justin as harsh, dismissive, and lacking the humility and compassion that I personally believe Scripture calls pastors to demonstrate. While others may have had different experiences, this was consistently mine over many years.
During my marriage, I repeatedly reached out to Justin, his wife Katelyn, and the elders seeking help regarding serious concerns within my home. I brought these concerns to church leadership on numerous occasions, hoping for biblical guidance, protection, and accountability. Instead, I felt my concerns were minimized or dismissed.
One conversation has stayed with me.
During a meeting with Justin and other elders, Justin stated words to the effect of, "If I punched my wife in the face ten years ago, that doesn't make me an abuser," and that if I brought my concerns before a judge, the judge would likely see my husband as "a good man with good character." Hearing those statements while seeking help was deeply discouraging.
As I continued raising concerns, I felt increasing pressure to stop discussing what I believed was abuse and to reconcile by bringing my husband back into the home. During that same period, I understood that the church was providing financial assistance to my husband for over a year while my children and I were struggling financially. I also became aware that after receiving financial assistance from the church, he purchased a $300 tattoo. That was very difficult for me to understand.
I also raised concerns about my husband's conduct and judgment that I believed church leadership should carefully evaluate before continuing to recommend him for ministry opportunities. From my perspective, those concerns were not taken seriously.
Eventually, after continuing to advocate for myself and my children, I was placed under church discipline and my membership was removed. The process left me feeling isolated rather than cared for, and I felt discouraged from maintaining relationships within the church community.
Because of my experience, I would encourage anyone in an abusive or destructive marriage to carefully consider whether this church is equipped to provide the kind of support and protection they may need. I also felt there was very little support or discipleship available for women navigating these situations. I was left feeling isolated and carrying that burden largely on my own. Every situation is different, but my experience was that preserving the marriage was prioritized over fully hearing and addressing my concerns.
For those in abusive marriages who are looking for a biblical perspective, I found the book Abused, Abandoned and Divorced by Steve Swartz to be a valuable resource that helped me process issues I did not feel were adequately addressed during my time at this church.
I recognize that others may have had positive experiences here. This review reflects only my own experience after serving under this leadership for sixteen years.