I recommend Issaquah Jail if possible. You can play board games in the day, and shower privately at night, plus they have a reasonably interesting library section. I know my jails. I thought about writing a book review and rank all of them, but then I realized I'd have to get arrested over and over across the country so eh. Avoid Birmingham Jail at all costs though read more

Pioneers of EVIL. Someone didn't file paperwork after I got a DUI-In Control (I parked in my apartment parking spot, took a Xanax, and fell asleep as I hadn't slept in days) so a warrant went went out for my arrest. Wasn't read my Miranda Rights, wasn't told why I was being arrested, denied a phone call, and put in solitary confinement for 5 days. Never did an officer talk to me. The food delivery person asked why I stopped eating and told him such. He went and got me a phone call and that's how I got out. The food deliverer is more ethical than the devils who run the place. read more

I only spent one day in the King County Jail in 2024 located in Seattle. It has skyrise window views. You can find Graffiti by GRIDE in the holding cells he has been dead since 2024. One fellow inmate was left in the holding cells over 24 hours they just forgot about him or something. When I was supposed to be released they got me mixed up and brought me to the waiting room to see a Judge, then they realized I was in the wrong room and the took me to release. Then during release it was shift change so they already had like 12 of us in the waiting room to leave dressed in our civilian clothes but would not let us leave because someone had to sign off on us leaving. The Jail was filthy in comparison to other I have been in, the CO's were abrasive unhelpful and unwilling to answer questions. Forms to make request were not stocked and writing utensils were not made available to fill them out. Vegetarian options were offered for food and sleeping quarters were cramped/ poor implimentation of bed placement. Beds are just part of the building no cushion other than your pillow and blanket. read more

A surreal experience at the king county jail. Dear attorney, I had an unbelievable experience at the king county jail on July 12. With your focus on the unbelievable, I thought you might be able to utilize some of the material my visit to the jail generated. Including: a video of 4 deputies beating my handcuffed ass and then, surprisingly, responding to my "kite", (jail complaint form) by claiming, again, in writing, that anyone that makes a King County Jail Deputy feel disrespected, gets their ass kicked. Please let me know if you have any interest. Warning, I'm a 59 year old lawyer, never been in trouble in my life, well, until last week. Arrested and assaulted by 4 deputies on Friday, July 12, charges (burglary kitchen arranging, I'm not kidding about that) released on Saturday, charges dismissed on Tuesday. The jail will not give up the video yet, they claim its release could threaten the security of the facility. The written statement by the deputy saying they have the right to assault anyone that "disrespects" they won't give up either, but they'll have to eventually. My experience in the jail was surreal. If you say anything wrong, you get punished, delays of communication, and blistering violence. Please take a look at what I have? It's another world in there and the deputies are running the place. read more

This place sucks. Beds were uncomfortable, cold, no toilet paper and the sack lunch did not slap. Get transferred to Kent if possible, still sucks but slightly less read more

Whoever thinks jail is not all that bad well my dears you need some serious help jail is anything but fun,they treat u like shit,the food absolutely blows I can say some most definitely not very many of the officers were pretty nice but most have a power tripping problem and some are just straight fucking assholes....the beds are so uncomfortable the food sucks they don't feed you enough jail just sucks period nobody likes to be locked up!!!!! read more

I drive past here frequently, fortunately never been here or in any prison and hope never to go. If you need to be restrained, call an ambulance and tell them you are suicidal instead. No joke, they have restraints on their stretchers, which they used on me once. Don't break the law hoping to get help. Psych wards, if you are lucky enough to find an open bed, are a much better option, as are drug rehab centers. read more

This place was great. Staff was polite and helpful, the cells are warm, and they you can very easily communicate with an officer. They don't make it a hassle to get your phone calls and I can't really complain about the food in a jail. Doubt I'll ever be back to this jail or any ever again but I definitely had a great time. The nurses are hilarious and I personally had a really good time goofing off with other inmates while we were able to be out. read more

I absolutely loved this place most of it is very inclusive and private it is invite only and to be honest all you need to do is find someone who is recruiting people to go their. you need to tell them to bring you to prison. they might say to you that you need to like commit a crime but just insist on going. it is really easy to find the recruiters too they just in cars marked with the letters P.O.L.I.C.E. it is awesome here a grate way to get free food and a bed read more

This Airbnb sucks. Check-in and check-out times were not communicated clearly. Host left instructions posted on the wall for use of the amenities, but instructions were confusing and amenities such as the telephone did not work properly. I was not informed that another guest would be arriving halfway through my stay. Room was dirty and had previous guest's used underwear on the bench. (Really.) On-site management was friendly but asked extremely intrusive questions. Staff initially demanded an extremely large damage deposit before I would be allowed to leave. 1/10 would not recommend. read more

Still no lock on getting inside this luxurious facility. I wish that I could be there right now happy.

I never got my phone call during my stay at KCJ. Whoever slices the bologna for the white bread sandwiches also has one unsteady hand. The thickness variation is totally unacceptable. I'm glad they promote multiculturalism by having the no jail rape sex harassment tape also play in espanol. Also pray that when your hearing comes up after you've waited for what seems like forever that the judge doesn't decide to go get lunch cuz then it'll be another forever and a half. They give out great souvenirs though. I brought home some sugar free non-branded kool-aid and even a comb. The staff was also kind enough to turn off my phone before booking so I could call an Uber Black after getting out. read more

I was a guest at the King County Bed and Breakfast in 2001. Not the most welcoming place I have ever visited. Both the bed and the breakfast were well under par. Why my rectum needed to be inspected before I was offered my lovely jumpsuit and plastic sandals is beyond me. I shant return. read more

the King County bed and breakfast and kinda lunch is stellar. Parking is ZERO problem - you will be escorted by your very own private driver and taken to a VIP entrance in an alley through two very heavy metal doors that will remind you of the scene from Rookie of the Year when Henry came to his first day playing for the Cubs at Wrigley Field mixed with Wizard of Oz. You will get a free physical! You will meet incredible anti-drug and anti alcohol roll models! Free clothing, that, yes sadly must be returned upon leaving the facility. Caring, and engaging staff will never let you go anywhere without your very own personal escort. great community living! This place is great for networking for those in the business of scumbagery. I will admit, the service is a little slow though. I personally would not go back. I know folks that have made multiple return visit, they can't seem to get enough of the services there! I think many of them have met their domestic partners there! Who doesn't love a good love story?! read more

Stopped by to check on any service enhancements...sprang a surprise inspection on New Years Day. Luckily, I was locked up in the same cell....yayy..apples to apples comparison from my 2012's arrest! Breakfast was served promptly at 645am. Cold sausage disk and Cherrios. The milk was all I enjoyed while I donated my meal to the craziest looking guy in there (a safety must!). Again, I enjoyed the climate control of the cell - warm at night and comfortable during the day. The complimentary hygiene package was the same despite requesting a softer toothbrush and better whitening toothpaste. The sack lunch after my arraignment was a snore-fest, so it was also donated to a different inmate with facial tattoos who apparently told the 911 dispatchers to send more cops so he can "[hurt] (paraphrasing) them too." For the record, this language was strong and inappropriate, but he exhumed the right amount of crazy for my free lunch. I would have given them 2 stars this time because of the entertainment - no one knew why I was arrested during booking - A real laugh-riot. Shades of early slapstick listening to 3 yukos debate my charges. Even the young lady printing me cracked a smile and said I'd get off.....since when did failing to use a blinker become wreckless driving and domestic violence. I guess I should just be lucky I wasn't gunned down in the bushes. Check-out was as usual....slow. The concierge was a large obese man who took about 4 donut breaks during what should have been a 15 minute process. Literally, when you're fired as a Wall-Mart greeter, they lobotomize you, slide you into a blue uniform and sit you in a chair here. read more

Great place to spend some time around the holidays! Had a blast with some of the officers, we played a game called cops and robbers! It was great but for some reason they never let me be the cop. Food is decent, kinda repetitive tho. My room was a little small, and I've never had roommate before... shout-out to you Jeff. Oh yeah and the best part was the government covered all the expenses! 10/10 would go again! read more

The food is bad and the hospitality leaves a lot to be desired. The view is good and the showers are...... lets just say better then none at all. Booking was the highlight of the experience. Release was anticlimactic, Just went right out into societies arms and drank at her tit, eagerly. She is a hooker. read more

You can go here to visit friends or family that are in jail or you can go here for court proceedings. They have strict policies that must be followed for certain reasons. The cops that greet you at the entrance are polite. They have lockers that you can put your stuff in while your busy attending business or a family matter! read more

if jail has taught me anything... it'd to abide the law and you won't have to stay in the horrible place. I figure with as many taxes as I pay, you think this would be some what nicer. The nicest person here is the doctor that checks up on you to make sure you don't need any meds or special care. Once you're out of that room, you get a newb scanning your prints on a high tech machine that you roll your palm over and over and over and over again, not sure if it's the nervousness of the newb that is scared to touch you because "you're in jail, you must be bad" or does the machine only look cool and just really suck. I've been here twice... last I checked my prints are still the same. Back to the holding cell. Four phones, one the buttons barely work. The other, the ear piece barely works. The third, mic hardly picks up your voice. And the fourth has someone calling everyone they know trying to get someone to put money in their books. Oversized potato orange sacks haven't changed for attire. Albeit the flip flops are relatively comfortable. Same thin gym mats and bed sheets for your "comforter" set. No one ever says "i deserve to be here." Me included... but I do find it a waste of tax money when people are in here for unpaid parking tickets, drinking on a bus or in public (better than drinking and driving)... but the law is the law. if people are far from perfect - except for Jessica Alba and Arianna Grande - then the law is an imperfect bitch. I will say this about jail though... I thought youtube was the only place I could learn lifehacks... but KCJ taught me a few things... 1. depending on what side of the building you're in. you can look out the window and by the flow of traffic or even casted shadows you can tell what time it is (there's no clocks in jail). 2. jailmates are the best tv guide and these guys know how to pick up signals on the ol' boob tube like a pro. 3. save all milk cartons during lunch. then ask the over watch for a pencil. rip apart each side of the milk cartons and write on each one 2H, 3H, 4H... 2D, 3D, 4D,... 2S... 2C... BOOM YOU HAVE A DECK OF CARDS! **MIND BLOWING** other pieces can be used for chess or checkers. there are a few other tricks but perhaps i shouldn't share those publicly... jail survival tips: 1. wheel n dealin is your friend. people will trade food for cookies, cookies for oranges, save your sandwiches - cuz you can trade that for more water flavoring cuz if you think your home sink water is nasty... wait til you try jail water. 2. save your paper bag from lunch. keep your stuff inside. and under your pillow. cuz if someone tries to take it while sleeping, you'll hear the crumpling and wake up and catch em. 3. if you need privacy while showering or duecin... put the garbage can in the doorway. people will respect that and stay away. 4. don't piss in the pooper and don't poop in the pisser. you don't want to find out why. 5. you can use the cash in your pocket/wallet (before getting checked in) to put money in your books so you can make phone calls to your lawyer. that's all folks. obey the law. if you don't remember these helpful tips! read more

I have never been stuck in there (thankfully! lol) but I was on the 8th floor with a friend paying a ticket way back in (I think it was) 1996 and an earthquake started! I heard a bunch of the inmates above us hooting and cheering and then the loudspeaker came on to begin evacuate certain floors. I just remember seeing a huge group of inmates down the hall from that office (they must had been being escorted someplace as part of EQ protocol) and they were cheering and dancing. It was very surreal. read more

I love this place! They have the cutest guards. I would go back just to flirt with them. The one time I went there, the guard that took me to my cell was super cute. read more

Unless you are being taken to RJC, WCC, or Issaquah Municipal Jail, bitch about this place all you like, but leaving on the chain will make you wish you were back in KCJ. Take it from someone who has toured All of the county jails on the I 5 corridor from Canada to Oregon and a few others like Yakima, this jail isn't that bad. Just don't shit in the pisser or piss in the shitter or the brother who has appointed himself to monitor your bathroom habits will become quite upset. read more

Excellent services. Three square plus nutrient drinks. Nurses. Doctors. Public defense. Better than a developing nation's resort accommodations. For realsies. read more

i really don't enjoy giving one star reviews but then i wouldn't be a true yelp elite if i didn't give my honest feedback. my stay here was booked through SPD on a friday night and right from the beginning, i could tell this would not be a great vacation. the building exterior has no pizzazz at all. i think it was designed using the "public school" style architecture that was oh so popular back during the late 70s, early 80s for this type of facility - very government-in-a-dystopian-future-esque. the same theme was carried on into the interior as well, what with the off-white florescent lighting (hella unflattering to my skin tone :( ), 2 tone grey paint over cinder block walls, and the exposed polished cement flooring. i'm not sure what the next step down from shabby chic (just shabby perhaps?) is but that's what i'd consider the ambiance here to be which is fine if that's what they're going for. the cinder block wall/concrete floor combo is not conducive to carrying on a conversation in a civilized tone - voices tended to bounce off the walls, leading you to raise your voice to be heard, which would then bounce off the wall, leading you to again raise your voice to be heard. it was a cycle. they were TOTALLY overbooked for the weekend so i didn't get my own room, just a vinyl futon (lumpy and didn't breathe well at all. read - you sweat a lot) and a spot in the day room. the spa area left much to be desired (but little to the imagination) as it was just a low wall and a toilet, open to the rest of the common guest area. i think the pool and sauna were closed and i never did find the athletic courts. staff was super unhelpful, seriously. i think they really need to take a course in hotel/hospitality management. my check in was late and the kitchen was closed so the only option was a "sandwich". when i told the server my bread was moldy and i didn't get no mayo (just a packet of mustard) he acted like he didn't care. RUDE! if i wanted attitude, i woulda went to a korean restaurant, amirite?! The aged bologna had a "unique" texture to it and a flavor I had not yet acquired. because it was so late, they only had size 14 slippers (i don't think they had half sizes available but i forgot to ask) left so i had to shuffle about in ill fitting footwear like an animal. my red jump suit did fit well albeit a bit long (apparently someone with my waist size should be 8 feet tall). all in all, i don't think i could recommend this particular facility and i def won't be coming back (sorry to be so harsh :/) please note: this review is for my stay from several years back but i understand little has changed since then and therefore i'm comfortable with writing this. #ChineseRunInPacks read more

One special evening i was escorted by the local police dept. to a secret garage door entrance in the downtown region of Seattle. My driver at the time proceeded to open the passenger door and manhandle me (not that type of dude) into a special room where some older ladies i like to call them my concierge examined me before entering the establishment. The concierge asked if i carried the HIV virus or suffered from any bacterial diseases. They also asked me if i was on medication or had thoughts of suicide very detailed. After the examinations and being relieved of my personal items i was escorted into another special room filled with phones without receivers and that smelled of urine and feet. The man that I sat next too looked to have no teeth and seem to be homeless he asked me what i was in for and if i knew where to get some crack cocaine interesting. I tried using the phones (reminder no receivers) such a pain in the ass but at the same time i couldn't get a connection bc all the phones where for collect calls only BOO. After that i was lead into another room where i was asked to strip down to my underwears and giving a blue jumpsuit and plastic sandals. I had asked if i could get a cleaner jumpsuit that didn't stink of mothballs and feet they said "NO" god the service in this place sucks. After that I was then placed into a elevator where i was eventually lead to my room (cell) thinking great now i can get a good nights rest. That wasn't the case because my room (cell) was filled with a few gang members and people that smelled like a dumpster. So laying on my back with one eye open was my only option as well as the mat they gave me with no pillow was unbearable for sleep. Finally morning had come but i couldn't really tell bc my room (cell) had no windows so annoying. Me and my roomies where then sent to "chow" for breakfast i was so hungry and couldn't wait to eat. I'm such a foodie so i was hoping to get a good meal for breakfast. I was given a trey of what looked like wet dog food some greens a piece of cake and a apple on top of a packet of orange drink yes orange drink not juice to wash it down. I decided to only drink the orange "drank" as the locals called it and eat my apple but as i was going to eat my cake one of my roomies asked if i wanted to trade my cake for his apple i guess the cake is a high commodity in here i declined the offer. Then after breakfast we where then escorted into a elevator to a activity area. The activity area consist of a basketball court which was fun and was the only highlight of my stay at King County Jail. Later after some very physical hoop play i was then sent back to my room (cell). A few hours had passed and my room attendant (guard) came up to my room door and yelled my last name. He then let me out of my room and escorted me to a dressing room where i took off the jumpsuit and was given back my clothes . After dressing i was let out of the room and then proceeded to a counter where a gentleman asked me some questions then gave me back my personal belongings and a day pass for the bus. I then was escorted back down a hallway to some doors that the attendants (guards) opened for me. I proceeded outside doors when the sun beamed straight into my eyes. I had to quickly cover them like it was the first time i have ever seen the sun from living in a cave. I had to ask a lady what time and day it was bc in King County Jail there is no sense of time or day it really doesn't exist in there. She kindly told me and i made my way to the nearest bus stop i could find. King County Jail your food is terrible if u call that food the service sucks and it smells like feces i will not be returning back anytime soon and i demand a refund or the money i had before i was checked in that i suspect my driver (officer) or your attendants (guard) took thx one star. read more

S***hole. Food is REALLY nasty and little. Just beans without salt... They stopped to give juices, in order to save money, so the lousy post on the wall from the admins says that they stopped it "becayuse they want people to drink water", xaxa... Give me a break. There is nothing in that food at least give peole some juice to have at least some vitamins. When I got sick, cold, and asked the rude old nure to give me something from cold, she said they dont do it, and suggested that I drink more water or byu an ibuprofen. When I said that I didnt have money, she said dont come then. Guards NEVER respond the call button, even if you have an emergency, so good luck if you have heart problems. Guards are very abusive, arrogant and rude, very insulting. They will make up a story and put you in a hole. Last year, some inmate started a fight, all I did was going back and never hit him. However, since there are NO CAMERAS, and NO WAY TO PROVE that you were not guilty, I was sent to the hole and given 10 days along with the inmate who started and finished the fight. Some guards like Allen, on the 8th floor, are so abusive that they will simply stay there and call you names, just for fun, provoking other inmates to start riots. You cant trust no one. read more